Wheels of Fire (1985)

Wheels of Fire (1985)

Dir. Cirio H. Santiago.

If you're suddenly thinking of Manowar, then you have my utmost respect, but the movie predates the song by three years. Oh well; it was a pleasing thought while it lasted.

WoF is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland scenario. With no law to stop them, many people get their kicks being total dicks towards other people. But not Trace (Gary Watkins). Trace is a man of some honour who mostly looks out for his sister Arlie (Lynda Wiesmeier).

If Mad Max rip-offs have taught me anything of value, it's that post-apoc survival requires a pair of well-worn leather kecks and a part luck / part skill ability to drive on dusty roads.

The acting is as you'd expect for this kind of thing, but the car chases are excellent; if someone was to edit them into The Road Warrior (1981) and claim it's an extended cut, then many people could be fooled.

Jeff Wayne's Musical version of TWotW: TNG (2013)

Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of TWotW: The New Generation: Alive from the 02 (2013)

Dir. Nick Morris | London 02 Arena, ?? December, 2012

Didn't I review this already, just last month? Nope. That was the Richard Burton-head on a dangling egg version. This is the Liam Neeson semi-transparent '3D holo-gimmick' version.

As before, it's a live performance of Wayne's musical adaptation of H.G. Wells' The War of the Worlds novel featuring The Black Smoke Band and the ULLAdubULLA Strings orchestra, with a large cinema screen behind them onto which is projected a mix of pre-recorded footage and CGI animation. But there are a few differences:

The CGI is better; the towering tripod ship now shoots fire; and it was recast to appeal specifically to a 'younger audience'; that last part put my 'older audience' mind on the alert. [1]

'Wayne wouldn't extend that train of thought to the music, would he?' I pondered. 'For the love of all that stands on three legs, he wouldn't mess with a classic formula just for 'younger audience' recognition, right?' But he did. Damn, he did.

Godzilla (2014) Video Game [PS3 and PS4]

Godzilla (2014) Video Game

aka Godzilla VS [Japan PS4 Version]

Genre: Fighting / Action | Players: 1 (Offline) or 2 (Online PS4 only) | Developer: Natsume Atari

The opening cinematic of the game teases action, with monsters going head to head, military responses, dramatic camera angles, and, of course, destruction on a grand scale.

The tutorial that follows is presented in a wonderfully apt way, with a grainy B+W hue that's reminiscent of the first Godzilla movie - and with Akira Ifukube's iconic music playing throughout, the tone is set in suitably dramatic fashion. All in all, it reinforces the notion that getting to play as Godzilla is going to be as good as many G fans thought it would be. [1]

But when reality hits, after just a couple of levels, it hits with a kaijū-sized thump. You may even feel your hopes crumble like a tiny model city during a giant creature brawl. I sure did.

De Niro and De Palma: The Early Films (2018)

De Niro and De Palma: The Early Films (2018)

Dir. Brian De Palma (obviously).

When I plan to cover a sizable portion of a director's filmography, like I do with Brian De Palma, I prefer to start with the earliest one that I own and move forward chronologically. The pictured box set contains three such works. Each one also stars actor Robert De Niro.

01. Greetings (1968) is a satirical 'comedy' about three men trying to avoid getting drafted into the Vietnam War and is De Niro's first screen credit on a full-length feature film.

As a fan of the director's more dramatic works, from Sisters (1972) onwards, it was interesting to experience his developing working method and spot references to things that would evolve into career defining traits, but the film itself was a struggle for me to sit through.

The Pocket Book of Boosh (2009)

The Pocket Book of Boosh (2009)

Author: Various (inc. Noel Fielding & Julian Barratt) | Page Count: 304

"…prose so taught you can feel the veins."

If you liked The Mighty Boosh TV Series, then you'll probably like The Pocket Book of Boosh. Provided you like tie-in books and can read English text.

If you can't read, don't fret, there are pictures. It even has a comic book featuring Rudy and Spider.

The content is exactly the same as The Mighty Book of Boosh, which came first, and was bigger. This one came second, and is smaller.

I shit you not.

That's as complicated as it gets.

NOTE: You don't actually need to have pockets.

Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of TWotW: Alive on Stage (2006)

Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of TWotW: Alive on Stage (2006)

Dir. David Mallet | Filmed at Wembley Arena, 25th April, 2006.

A live stage production of Wayne's adaptation, featuring actors / performers, a full band, and a small orchestra conducted by Wayne himself.

It begins with a v/o by the Martians, all of whom are fluent in the English language. It'll be helpful to anyone not already familiar with the album or original story, but it's not something that I enjoyed, personally. For me, the true beginning is when the Richard Burton narration comes in:

"No one would have believed, in the last years of the 19th Century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space..."

Speaking of Burton, the production features a weird, disembodied projection of the actor's head, floating high above the 'stage right' side.

Spawn: The Movie - Comic Book Adaptation (1997)

Spawn: The Movie (1997)

Adaptation: Ted Adams (from an original story by Mark Dippé + Alan McElroy) | Artist: Carlos D'Anda | Page Count:48

"Each time you go out there, you come back a little more dead inside."

A comic book adaptation of the Spawn movie that in some ways is better than the shit that spawned it.

The first few pages tell of the ongoing battle between Heaven and Hell, and how a demon named Malebolgia requires a leader for his army on Earth, which is where our antihero Al Simmons comes in. A black ops killer for a shady organisation, Al develops something akin to a conscience and begins to lose control of his life.

At just 48 pages it moves stupid-fast, like a Marvel comic from the 90s, leaving a lot of potentially interesting stuff underdeveloped; e.g., the quote above foreshadows a deeply ironic quality that's barely touched upon, and we get no time to know Al before he's thrust into his second life, so the contrast is lost.

Terry and Wanda get even less characterisation. Wynn is a cookie cutter egomaniac, while Cagliostro, who seems to come from nowhere, functions as a standard 'exposition' guy.

Dogora (1964)

aka Giant Space Monster Dogora (1964)

Dir. Ishirō Honda

The mystery of disappearing television satellites in Earth's orbit, strange happenings at street level, and a detective hunting a well-organised group of diamond thieves would seem to be independent events to most onlookers, but in a daikaijū movie such things rarely are...

The alien creature, which resembles something from the ocean depths, isn't just attacking Japan, but they have a respected doctor who's researching something related, so they're better equipped to discover its weakness.

There's nothing particularly special or memorable about the film, so while it may be of interest to genre fans due to the creative talent involved (Ishirō Honda, Eiji Tsuburaya, and Akira Ifukube), it's one that casual fans can probably safely skip.

Apparitions (2008)

Apparitions (2008)

Dirs: Joe Ahearne [1,2,5,6] / John Strickland [3,4] | 6 episodes, approx 56 mins each.

Father Jacob Myers (Martin Shaw) examines evidence of miracles for an institution that considers itself earthly protectors and purveyors of the word and will of God, i.e., the Catholic Church. His findings help determine who does or doesn't get canonised as a Christian Saint.

While investigating the claims of a young trainee [pre-ordination] priest (Elyes Gabel), Father Jacob discovers what he believes to be an actual demonic possession. His actions thereafter lead him to uncover something even more troubling, which may affect his own future role.

I watched Apparitions solely because it starred Martin Shaw, who played the titular inspector in the George Gently TV Series (2007–17) that I'd finished and thoroughly enjoyed a few nights before. Shaw was excellent as Gently, and he was good as Father Myers, too, but the miniseries didn't come close to satisfying my 'evening viewing' time in the way that Gently had.

The Masters of the Universe Book (2021)

The Masters of the Universe Book (2021)

Author: Simon Beecroft | Page Count: 200

A large format hardcover book (24 x 28 cm, aprrox) published by Dorling Kindersley Ltd.

I've owned plenty of DK books over the years, covering various topics and/or franchises. They typically have lots of quality pictures, in an attempt to detract from the shortage of interesting text. And like a lazy student's homework assignment, in some cases the text that is included is regurgitated content with little emphasis on original thinking.

I expected much the same from The MotU Book, but no, it's really quite good! Author Simon Beecroft seems to have actually cared about what he was writing, and has presented the content in a clear and concise manner. 

It has some real treasures within its pages that make it feel like it was lovingly curated, as opposed to thrown together like many DK books of the past. It's split into chapters, as you'd expect, and within that framework things roughly follow a chronological order.

Bathory: Albums (1984-87)

Bathory: Albums (1984-87)

It seems that I've not made a single post about Bathory yet! That oversight will now be rectified. In short: No Bathory = No Black Metal.

That's just a widespread opinion that I share, not an established fact.

I know that Venom managed to coin the phrase two years prior, but it took the genius of Bathory's Quorthon (Tomas Forsberg) to turn the phrase into something more than just playful word association; Quorthon gave it life. Bathory shits on Venom from a great height after a week-long diet of prunes and porridge - metal prunes and substantially heavy porridge.

If you're a Venom fan and want to counter by saying that perhaps No Venom = No Bathory, then I won't argue because the jury is (and likely always will be) out on that. But to me, Venom are like Spinal Tap with studded wristbands, in comparison. Bathory is a Storm of Damnation, a Wind of Mayhem, etc.

Dredd: The Illustrated Script and Visuals (2014)

Dredd: The Illustrated Script and Visuals (2014)

Author: Alex Garland  |  Illustrator: Jock  |  Page Count: 240

"You were shit out of luck when you ran into the Ma-Ma clan."

If there'd been a poll asking what people would like to see in a book titled 'Illustrated Script and Visuals', everything that's already included would be on my list. As someone who enjoys reading Dredd comics, screenplays, and can happily waste an hour studying concept art, it seems almost tailor-made.

On the left hand pages is Garland's script, laid out in the usual format. It's also where you'll find trivia, concept art depicting various stages of evolution and full colour production stills, not all of which were used in the final version (unused hall of justice, judge badges, etc), with brief passages of text describing what each one is and how it fits into the overall structure. It's the 'Visuals' half of the book.

36 (2004)

36 (2004)

aka: The 36 / 36 Quai des Orfèvres

Dir. Olivier Marchal

Two of France's finest male actors go head to head in a gritty, violent police thriller based partly on Dir. Marchal's time in the police force.

Detective Léo Vrinks (Daniel Auteuil), a man with many friends and solid bonds, is head of the BRI, a team who look out for each other and cover each other's backs when needed.

In contrast, detective Denis Klein (Gérard Depardieu), head of the BRB, is a man with no true friends, having alienated everyone who ever got close to him, and doing a good job of preventing anyone new from trying the same.

While both men hold the same rank within the same organisation, they're in different departments. And while one follows the law when it suits him, the other makes his own law.

A series of violent armoured car heists put the duo in an awkward position, requiring some tough decision making. The two men each want to be first to solve the case, but for different reasons.