Getting Any? (1995)

Getting Any? (1995)

Dir. Takeshi Kitano

Comedy doesn't always travel well, especially when many of the gags are reliant on cultural knowledge that a foreign audience may lack.

I'm in that bracket, so keep that in mind when I say the comedy is well-timed but just isn't funny. Its structure is little more than a series of absurd sketches loosely documenting a hopeless man's desire to have sex in a car, but first he needs a car. His leaps of logic in service of his lascivious goal make no sense, but perhaps that's part of the joke(?).

Along the way it parodies various other films, including Lone Wolf and Cub, Zatoichi, kaijū (specifically Mothra), The Fly (1986), and, bizarrely, Ghostbusters (1984), all of which are more enjoyable than Getting Any?.

Godzilla (2014) Video Game [PS3 and PS4]

Godzilla (2014) Video Game

aka Godzilla VS [Japan PS4 Version]

Genre: Fighting / Action | Players: 1 (Offline) or 2 (Online PS4 only) | Developer: Natsume Atari

The opening cinematic of the game teases action, with monsters going head to head, military responses, dramatic camera angles, and, of course, destruction on a grand scale.

The tutorial that follows is presented in a wonderfully apt way, with a grainy B+W hue that's reminiscent of the first Godzilla movie - and with Akira Ifukube's iconic music playing throughout, the tone is set in suitably dramatic fashion. All in all, it reinforces the notion that getting to play as Godzilla is going to be as good as many G fans thought it would be. [1]

But when reality hits, after just a couple of levels, it hits with a kaijū-sized thump. You may even feel your hopes crumble like a tiny model city during a giant creature brawl. I sure did.

Dogora (1964)

aka Giant Space Monster Dogora (1964)

Dir. Ishirō Honda

The mystery of disappearing television satellites in Earth's orbit, strange happenings at street level, and a detective hunting a well-organised group of diamond thieves would seem to be independent events to most onlookers, but in a daikaijū movie such things rarely are...

The alien creature, which resembles something from the ocean depths, isn't just attacking Japan, but they have a respected doctor who's researching something related, so they're better equipped to discover its weakness.

There's nothing particularly special or memorable about the film, so while it may be of interest to genre fans due to the creative talent involved (Ishirō Honda, Eiji Tsuburaya, and Akira Ifukube), it's one that casual fans can probably safely skip.

The Dark Tower: Book I: The Gunslinger (1982)

The Dark Tower: Book I: The Gunslinger (1982)

Author: Stephen King | Page Count: 212

'No one ever really pays for it in silver, he thought. The price of any evil – necessary or otherwise – comes due in flesh.'

Book I is our introduction to Roland Deschain, aka Roland of Gilead, the titular gunslinger and a man obsessed with reaching the Dark Tower. That goal carries him across Mid-World, the land of his birth.

Mid-World is a familiar amalgamation of our own recorded history and a romanticised version of the same. It's the type of fictional reality that fans of King's other works will feel right at home in.

King is best known for horror works, but Dark Tower is fantasy merged with the old-fashioned western. It's still populated with the kind of well-defined characters that the author is good at. Love him or loathe him, you can't deny his strengths.

Ghost in the Shell: Original Soundtrack (1995)

Ghost in the Shell: OST (1995)

Composed by Kenji Kawai

Kenji’s use of modern synthesised technology spliced with traditional Japanese instrumentation captures the very essence of the GitS film.

A female choir sets the tone on the opening track, but what follows is primarily minimalist, reliant on sparse percussion, chimes, bells, and an oddly eerie atmosphere. The feeling of floating in a sea is an apt analogy to describe the ominous embrace and peaceful, enveloping serenity of it.

It's both emotionally sombre and spiritually beautiful, which seems like an impossible contradiction to me. But I adore beautiful contradictions.

The Ghost in the Shell: Global Neural Network (2018)

The Ghost in the Shell:

Global Neural Network (2018)

Authors: Max Gladstone / Alex de Campi / Genevieve Valentine / Brenden Fletcher | Illustrators: David López / Giannis Milonogiannis / Brent Schoonover / LRNZ | Page Count: 160

"There was something odd. Like an echo.
I need to go deeper."

Kodansha really do like to big-up their derivative Ghost in the Shell tie-in books. Previously they claimed to have delivered a 'definitive history' of the franchise (in the README). Now it's a 'historic collaboration' with series creator Shirow Masamune.

However, there's nothing in the book to suggest that Shirow had any input beyond granting permission for his characters and their world to be used.

It would be wrong of me to assume that was the case for sure, but given the publisher's actions to date I feel they'd be shouting it from rooftops if he'd truly been involved in any kind of meaningful hands on manner. If I ever find out the truth, I'll return and edit it in here.

What I know for sure is that the book includes four stories by four different authors and four different artists. In the order presented:

Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex: Manga (2010-14)

Episode 001: Section 9 (2010)

Author + Illustrator: Yu Kinutani | Page Count: 248

"[W]e've determined the contents of the brain are fake. So where's the real one?"

A number of cyborg Geishas have taken clients hostage, among them a high-ranking government official who at the time of his capture was engaging in some odd activities with the pretend ladies.

The Prime Minister summons the country's best counter-terrorist unit: Public Security Section 9. Led by the cybernetically enhanced Major Kusanagi, the team are called upon to not only resolve the situation, but to find out who's behind it, and why.

It's a manga adaptation of an anime TV series that was inspired by a film adaptation of a manga. If you're familiar with all of those things, then the book might be of interest to you, but know that it's the entire first episode of the GitS SAC anime in manga form - it's almost verbatim, except for some minor changes in the action scenes that don't alter the main storyline one bit. It's arguably less fun than watching the anime, so is probably best recommended for super-fans or folks who prefer manga, only.

Ghost in the Shell: SAC: Complete 1st and 2nd GIG (2018)

GitS: SAC: Complete 1st + 2nd GIG (2018)

Dirs. Various | Seasons: 2 | 52 episodes, approx 25 mins each [Make sure and stick around for the short Tachikomatic Days entries after the credits roll on each one!]

An 8-disc collection that contains all 52 episodes of the Stand Alone Complex TV series - that's 26 episodes apiece for each of the two seasons.

The year is 2030. Public Security Section 9 is a counter-terrorist branch funded by the Japanese government, a team of ass-kicking professionals that get the job done no matter what.

The world is overly dependent on cybernetic bodies; the web has become the medium of choice for terrorists and as a result there exists a large potential for cyber-crime and hacks.

Section 9 specialise in that area. Led by Major Motoko Kusanagi the team deal with corporate terrorism, kidnapping, human trafficking, Ghost hacks (a technique in which a subject's memories are replaced with false ones) and a host of other internal and external threats. They're the people that keep the rest of us safe, often without us even knowing they exist.

Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence: After the Long Goodbye (2007)

GitS 2: Innocence: After the Long Goodbye (2007)

Author: Masaki Yamada | Translators: Yuji Oniki + Carl Gustav Horn / Page Count: 197 

"I'm not all that popular. At the same time, I hardly ever meet someone I like. In that sense, my life is balanced out."

A prequel to the second Ghost in the Shell feature film, Innocence (2004). Unlike most TV and film tie-in novels, this one is actually good - damn good.

It creates a singular narrative that doesn't rely heavily on the film, but it remains referential and respectful to it. Knowledge of the characters is obviously necessary to fully appreciate the small intricacies, but the text also manages to stand on its own two feet, admirably.

It's told first person, from the cyborg Batou's perspective. Batou isn't the most intelligent or passionate of individuals, so it may come as a surprise to find that his sensitive side, a secretive part of himself that he reserves for mostly one person in the films, could be so well-developed without compromising the integrity of the character. It gets deep into the mind of the man, the only part of him that's still human, to explore the themes of self that René Descartes popularised. That self-analysis is the novel's greatest strength, and what Ghost in the Shell is perfectly suited to.

Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004)

Ghost in the Shell 2: Innocence (2004)

Dir. Mamoru Oshii

Loosely based on a story from the same Masamune Shirow manga as the first Ghost in the Shell film, Innocence is nevertheless very different to its predecessor.

I'm limited in what I can say because it'll be mostly spoiler, so I'll stick to basics: Section 9 members Batou and Togusa are assigned to investigate a series of 'gruesome murders' perpetrated by gynoids who thereafter end their own existence. The investigation opens doors to a great deal of spiralling philosophy and musings on the nature of humanity.

The animation and character movement are superb, and backgrounds are even more detailed than before, with exquisite lighting - although the latter has a deep brown / coppery tint that won't be to everyone's liking. The plot is at times mind-bending and at other times simple and understatedly heartfelt. It's certainly not passive viewing, so you'll need to engage and question what you're given if you want to get the most from it.

Ghost in the Shell (1995)

Ghost in the Shell (1995)

Dir. Mamoru Oshii

Like many people outside of Asia my introduction to non-TV anime was Akira (1988); in my case, specifically, a UK VHS edition by Manga in 1991. There was an occasional good title in the slew of OVA crap thereafter, but Ghost in the Shell (1995) was a monumental leap forward in quality.

American-born author William Gibson had popularised cyberspace a decade before in his novel Neuromancer, but the mass appeal of movies over books meant that director Mamoru Oshii's adaptation of author Masamune Shirow's manga reached a wider audience in the same genre, making it kick mainstream ass in the process. The first GitS film was a landmark release that the world of sci-fi anime fandom collectively applauded.

Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2045: Season Two (2022)

GitS: SAC_2045: Season Two (2022)

Dirs: Shinji Aramaki + Kenji Kamiyama | Eps: 12, approx 25 mins each

The good news is it's better than Season One. But that doesn't mean it's good. It's like the difference between shitting yourself while wearing shorts versus shitting yourself while wearing trousers with bicycle clips. Both stink and are best avoided.

The first episode is numbered 13, which makes sense because — even though Netflix pretend otherwise — it's clearly the second half of Season One, which they didn't bother to finish properly.

It has a new opening and new theme song that despite not being at all memorable is definitely an improvement over the last effort. (It's called Secret Ceremony, by millennium parade.) It's the kind of thing you might get if you asked a manufactured J-pop band to make a more edgy song for one of the superfluous Kingdom Hearts handheld games.

Godzilla Singular Point (2021—)

Godzilla Singular Point: Series One (2021)

Dir. Atsushi Takahashi / Episodes: 13

A thirteen episode anime TV series co-produced by studios Bones Inc. and Orange.

Chronologically it was released after Godzilla: The Planet Eater (2018) in the Reiwa Era, but it's not connected to any of the feature films.

It begins with talk of a haunted mansion and a possible ghost or vampire, but moves away from that into crazy science - and I do mean crazy. It introduces and explains its concepts well, so it's simple enough to keep up, but it'll require some major acceptance on the part of the viewer. That's if you can actually read what the hell it is that's being presented or said.

Subtitles are sometimes onscreen for a mere fraction of a second and quite often they're white text on a white background, making it almost impossible to read anything without having to pause the episode. That particular issue was solved in the days of silent cinema!

Godzilla: Reiwa Era Films (2016—)

29. Shin Godzilla (2016)

Dirs. Hideaki Anno + Shinji Higuchi

NOTE: numbering continues sequentially from the Millennium Era. For simplicity I've used English titles, but it's always the Japanese language versions of the films that I refer to.

Another hard reset of the franchise, with a new creature design and new origin story behind it.

The majority of the film involves politicians, bureaucrats, military leaders, etc, talking about how to deal with the irradiated daikaijū threat.

It utilises fast cuts to give the impression that things being discussed hurriedly is some kind of compensation for things being uninteresting - but it's really not. The first hour in particular is dense with such dry, ponderous dialogue.

Godzilla, referred to as male more than once in the English subs, is mostly CGI, mo-capped so that it moves kind of like a man in a suit. It gets points for good intentions, but ultimately it's just another CGI creature with zero personality. If I wanted that I'd watch the American films.

God Save the Queen (2007)

God Save the Queen (2007)

Author: Mike Carey | Illustrator: John Bolton | Page Count: 96

"Okay, these are the rules. We run fast, we dance like animals — and we say yes to everything."

An adult tale filled with visceral imagery and harsh realities that merge the aesthetic of British Punk with the magical but equally fearful nature of the cautionary tale / fairy story. Those two things on the surface would seem to have nothing in common, but author Mike Carey somehow makes the pairing work.

You'll meet characters from other well-known DC Vertigo titles, namely The Sandman, The Dreaming, and The Books of Magic, but the book exists on the fringes of all three titles, so you don't need to have read any of them prior to settling down with God Save the Queen.

The story revolves around Linda, a bored, alienated, self-absorbed and self-destructive young adult. If trouble doesn't find her, then she'll actively seek out and embrace it. The rebellion of the individual against society and family is concurrent with the catastrophic repercussions that follow when Titania, the Queen of Faerie, receives an unwelcome visitor to her realm.

Godzilla: Heisei Era Films (1984-95)

16. The Return of Godzilla (1984)

Dir. Koji Hashimoto

NOTE: numbering continues sequentially from the Shōwa Era. For simplicity's sake I've used English language titles for each of my Godzilla reviews, but it's always the original Japanese language versions of the films that I refer to.

The Heisei Era is almost exclusively a case of Godzilla vs [ANOTHER] kaijū; the exception is the first film, which is a reboot of sorts, being a sequel to the original 1954 film that ignores the other fifteen Shōwa films. It was a deliberate attempt to return the series to its origins. It successfully made Godzilla scary again. No longer something to be mocked, Godzilla is total fucking destruction.

The first proper reveal of the rejuvenated beast is impressive, with newly added facial animatronics that enabled it to have nuances like never before.

Godzilla: Shōwa Era Films (1954-74)

01. Godzilla (1954) 

Dir. Ishirō Honda

NOTE: for simplicity's sake I've used English language titles for each of my Godzilla reviews, but it's always the original Japanese language versions of the films that I refer to.

The monstrous growl that's heard over the film's opening credits foreshadows what's to come, which can be summed up as the Japanese people facing a monstrous terror that the rest of the world has never seen. It begins at sea and then moves inland.

The creature responsible for the inhuman roar — the monarch of kaijū eiga — is a force to be reckoned with, for sure, and is more than just an excuse to have a guy in a rubber suit trash tiny models. You don't need to be a history scholar to pick out the many wartime parallels: nuclear weapons testing in the Pacific, irradiated wells, air raid sirens, and footfalls that sound like distant bombs impacting and exploding are all highlighted.

Goedam (2020)

Goedam (2020)

Dir. Hong Won-ki | 8 episodes, various lengths (approx 74 mins total)

A Korean horror anthology based around the idea of urban myths, with episodes of various lengths, the shortest being approx seven minutes and the longest around fifteen minutes. The individual incidents aren't connected to each other, but a few of them do take place in the same location.

It's an interesting experiment, but the result is only 12.5% successful. That might seem like an odd figure to have choosen, but it’s exact and easy to calculate: seven of the eight episodes are dire.

The only exception is the final episode, Birth, which is the most complete, the most beautiful, the most terrifying (i.e. the kidnappings), and the best edited short of them all. The picture that I've chosen to accompany this post is taken from that episode.

Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2045: Season One (2020)

GitS: SAC_2045: Season One (2020)

Dirs: Shinji Aramaki + Kenji Kamiyama | Eps: 24, approx 25 mins each.

At first glance SAC_2045 seems to have many favourable ingredients in place: it's co-produced by Production I.G; has Kenji Kamiyama onboard as co-director; it features many of the original Japanese and English language voice cast; and continues the Stand Alone Complex continuity.

Alas, in reality the continuation fails to live up to its positives. It's a soulless venture with little to offer beyond its superficial 'on paper' credentials.

Viewers who are relatively new to the franchise, perhaps having advanced from the live-action movie, may understandably surmise that such weak plotting is the norm, but I suspect that many longtime fans will be wondering why the lofty concepts and aspirations of the SAC series have been abandoned and the characters disrespected.

Grave of the Fireflies (1988)

Grave of the Fireflies (1988)

Dir. Isao Takahata

The first animation that Ghibli co-founder Isao Takahata directed for the studio is based on a 1967 semi-autobiographical short story of the same name by Japanse author Akiyuki Nosaka.

I've not read the original short, but the film is an immensely powerful story of two siblings, a teenager named Seita and his baby sister Setsuko, as they struggle to survive during the attacks on Japan during World War II.

Their relationship is the heart of the work; it's a heart that beats in defiance of adversity because it's fuelled by love and family values.

The responsibility placed on Seita could crush even the strongest adult, but his feelings for his sister keep him focussed and determined.

For a narrative that's built around heartbreaking tragedy and conflict, there's a lot of joy and beauty to be found in the subtext.