The Chronicles of Narnia: Live Action Films (2005-10)

The Chronicles of Narnia: Live Action Films

Dirs. Andrew Adamson (Films I + II) / Michael Apted (Film III)

01. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005). Aside from a few minor changes and a couple of newly written action scenes — because it's Hollywood and they just can't help themselves — the WMG + Disney version of C.S. Lewis' beloved children's novel is better than I expected it to be.

The first third is excellent, including each of the young actors. Lucy (Georgie Henley) is particularly good, in that she successfully embodies the sense of wonder that a child should feel after finding another world in the back of an old wardrobe.

Things only really begin to slide when the talking CGI animals appear. The great lion Aslan should have a splendour that eclipses all else, but his being rendered in boring CGI most of the time means that he might as well not be there at all.

The unnecessary use of such across the board is a stain on what I feel is otherwise the best filmed version of the novel, to date.

At the Earth's Core (1976)

At the Earth's Core (1976)

Dir. Kevin Connor

A subterranean fiction story in which a senescent British scientist (Peter Cushing) and his American sponsor (Doug McClure) tunnel through a hill in a Jules Verne-esque contraption dubbed the Iron Mole, which would be a good name for an album by a stoner doom band, if it isn't one already.

The duo go way off course and end up far beneath the Earth's crust, wholly unprepared for the dodgy FX that they find there.

The draw for me was Cushing and Caroline Munro, but he'd little of value to do and she disappeared for about half of the movie.

The bizarre flora was fun, but the fauna was bad. The rubber-suit flying things could've had some menace if the lighting had worked in their favour, but it was bad, too. Overall, the movie was a bag 'o shite, even by Amicus standards. It was just about worth it to hear Cushing say, "You cannot mesmerise me, I'm British!" right before getting totally mesmerised.

The Lost World + Return to the Lost World (1992)

The Lost World + Return to the Lost World (1992)

Dir. Timothy Bond

One of my favourite books as a child was a 1981 Ladybird Children's Classics edition of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World (1912).

It was a small hardcover edition, heavily abridged (52 pp) with storybook illustrations by Martin Aitchison throughout. I must've read it at least 40 times over the years. The edition I had came with an audio cassette of someone reading the book aloud, with music and sound FX at appropriate times - meaning everyone in the household could 'enjoy' my reading of it, too.

It didn't birth a lifelong love of dinosaurs, which is something that many kids from my generation have, but it did contribute to a lifelong love of books and of storytelling, in general.

That in itself is reason enough for me to want to feature the story on the blog in some capacity.  I chose a movie version, for reasons. And for additional reasons, it was the 1992 version.

The Cell (2000)

The Cell (2000)

Dir. Tarsem Singh

J-Lo dives into the mind of a very mentally disturbed, comatose serial killer (Vincent D'Onofrio) hoping to convince him to take her seriously now that she's an actress in a real, genuine, honest to grud film! If she fails to reach and reason with him in time, someone dies.

It's aged badly (or maybe that's me?), and is shallower than it pretends to be — step in it and your toes will barely get wet — but the movie has a few memorable moments, most of which come from D'Onofrio, who has an intensely overbearing cinematic presence. Without him it would be little more than a bunch of pretty moving pictures attached to a plot that draws from The Silence of the Lambs (1991) movie.

Visually, it's both bad and good: the CGI is awful, but many of the visual and optical effects are pretty wonderful, with a surreal quality that on occasion seemed inspired by the likes of the Quay Brothers; there's a tiny bit of Lynch, too.

Something Wicked This Way Comes: Authorized Adaptation (2011)

SWTWC: The Authorized Adaptation (2011)

Author: Ray Bradbury | Illustrator: Ron Wimberly | Page Count: 144

'She was blind, yes, but special blind. Just as they felt that balloon sift down like an autumn rain, so she could feel their souls. Each soul, a vast warm fingerprint.'

A comic book adaptation of Ray Bradbury's novel. I reviewed it a decade ago (HERE), so I won't go over the plot again. I'll focus solely on whether or not I feel the adaptation is successful. The short answer is yes, it mostly is. It retains a lot more descriptive language than is normal for a graphic novel, but that's a good thing because that's where the magic really happens in Bradbury's prose. His worldbuilding is often more beautifully realised than his dialogue.

The narrative accentuates the differences in the two boys more than the novel did, but that was necessary so that the second half of the story could do its job properly in a shorter space of time.

Vytor: The Starfire Champion (1989)

Vytor: The Starfire Champion (1989)

Dir. Tom Burton | 4 episodes, approx 22 mins each.

A short-lived animated Children's TV Series that might've gained a decent following if it hadn't been cancelled after only four episodes. It's not packed with originality — it reminded me of ThunderCats and Masters of the Universe often, particularly in the way it blends high fantasy and science fiction tech — but it's not completely derivative, either.

The hero is Vytor, a youth with aspirations of becoming protector of his village and its people, a group with an indigenous connection to the natural world, and whose technology is pre-industrial.

The backstory for the series goes something like this: seventeen years prior our introduction to Vytor (Michael Horton), a trio of big-wigs had a falling out, resulting in three separate Kingdoms.

Ninja Scroll (1993)

Ninja Scroll (1993)

Dir. Yoshiaki Kawajiri

I don't understand why Ninja Scroll is so named. It has a ninja — actually, it has lots of ninjas — but what's the scroll part about? Fuctifino. But what I know for certain is that when it comes to 90s era anime movies, NS is a classic. I've watched it a dozen times over the years and it impresses me every time. It isn't packed with plot like, for example, Akira (1988) or Ghost in the Shell (1995) are, but it has a visceral quality that many of its genre imitators failed to capture. [1]

Somehow, the historical setting enhances the fantastical elements, even though logic says they ought to be at odds with each other. A similar kind of complementary contrariety surrounds the two main characters: a skilled swordsman named Jubei, and a female Kōga ninja named Kagero, who has a special, hidden, devastating talent.

The villains, known as the Eight Devils of Kimon, are a peculiar bunch of freaks with unusual powers, and are all the more memorable for it.

Supernatural: Season 07 (2012)

Supernatural: Season 07 (2012)

23 episodes, approx 42 mins each.

My hope going into Season 07 was that it would be an improvement over Season 06,  even just enough to lift the series out of the shit-heap that showrunner Sera Gamble had put it in, but I don't feel that that happened.

A large part of the reason is the new ongoing threat, first mentioned in the season opener.

Known as Leviathans, the carnivorous bitey things (as pictured on the cover art) were created by God before even the Angels, but for reasons that I won't go into were imprisoned in a holding place that was made just for them. Naturally, they find a way through into the world  of humans. And that's as good as that particular story arc gets.

Supernatural: Season 06 (2011)

Supernatural: Season 06 (2011)

22 episodes, approx 42 mins each.

As mentioned in the Season 05 post, series creator Eric Kripke stepped down as showrunner after the show's fifth year. His successor was Sera Gamble, a long-time writer, story editor, and respected producer of the show. Her history with the Winchesters goes in her favour, but Season 06 is, on balance, a weak continuation.

Each of the three primaries have their role to play in the main story arcs, with each one impacting the others by varying degrees that are equal parts useful and / or contrived.

Without going into spoiler territory, the arcs revolve around a radical change in Sam's personality, Castiel's new plan, and problems for Dean in his newly found 'apple-pie' life.

The Last Temptation (1994)

The Last Temptation (1994)

Author: Neil Gaiman | Illustrator:  Michael Zulli | Page Count: 102

"I'll take away the uncertainty, Steven. I'll take away the fear. I'll take away the boredom and the pain. You want more than that?"

The result of a creative partnership between writer Neil Gaiman and rock musician extraordinaire Alice Cooper. It's not Alice's first foray into the world of comics, he's been involved before, but not in such a notable way.

It's a coming of age story, much like Ray Bradbury's Something Wicked This way Comes (1962), which it reminded me of more than once. If the Showman of The Last Temptation isn't based on Bradbury's carnival leader Mr Dark, then I’ll eat my oldest hat.

The story explores the pitfalls that a frightened kid must negotiate when forced to take control of his destiny for the first time in his life. He meets a host of freaks that tempt him with promises of new experiences. The Showman reveals his Theatre of the Real, the Grandest Guignol, and offers Steven something that I'm sure many of us have wished in our lives.

Supernatural: Season 05 (2010)

Supernatural: Season 05 (2010)

22 episodes, approx 42 mins each.

It's advisable to skip the recaps that precede each episode of Supernatural because the footage used is more often than not a spoiler for which character(s) will appear, which ruins any carefully plotted surprise reveal that may be present, but given that it's been five years since I finished Season 04, it was a necessary evil that I watch them... and yes, it spoiled the surprise almost every time.

The theme for Season 05 is Apocalypse, which follows on from how the previous year ended. In context, that relates mostly to the prophecies of the 'end times' that have been divined from the Revelations part of the Christian Bible; i.e., the non-boring chapter. If Sam and Dean can't put a stop to the coming storm, the world will go all to hell.

Hawk the Slayer: The Last of Her Kind (2025)

Hawk the Slayer: The Last of Her Kind (2025)

Author: Alec Worley | Illustrator: Simon Colby (line) / Gary Caldwell (col) | Page Count: 52

"She is like a child absorbed in her own cruel fantasy, forcing us to play along."

A continuation of Hawk's story set after Watch for Me in the Night (2023). The Last of Her Kind was serialised in 10 consecutive issues of the weekly 2000 AD magazine (#2413-22), for a total of just 52 pages. Rebellion might consider that enough page count for a proper TPB of its own, but it's considerably less than the previous story, so it seems unlikely that it'll get one - not unless there's a similarly-sized third part to add to it.

So I decided to feature it as is, with no official cover art - the pic to the right is Cliff Robinson's cover art of #2419 onto which I added a Hawk the Slayer logo. [1]

Neverwhere (1996)

Neverwhere (1996)

Dir. Dewi Humphreys | 6 episodes, approx 30 minutes each.

Richard Mayhew (Gary Bakewell) is a nice-guy Scotsman who lives and works in London. His fiancée is an asshole. His friends are assholes. If Richard could meet the criteria that he believes constitutes success, then in time he'd become just another city asshole, too.

But instead he meets Door (Laura Fraser), a young woman in need of the kind of help that he in his privileged position is able to offer.

Richard becomes aware of London Below, an underworld with its own laws, both societal and physical, that coexist with the London Above.

The two worlds can interact from time to time, but must inevitably return to their own individual aspects. If Richard is to help himself, then he must continue to help Door, and that means stepping into an unknown world of underground passageways, weird happenings, and (not very menacing) cut-throat assassins.

Masters of the Universe: The Motion Picture [Comic Adap] (1987)

Masters of the Universe: TMP (1987)

Adaptation: Ralph Macchio (from a screenplay by David Odell) | Illustrators: George Tuska (Pencil) / Art Nichols (Ink) / Evelyn Stein (Colour) | Page Count: 46

"Treachery. Suddenly Skeletor's men were everywhere. Someone must have let them through the defences."

A comic book adaptation of the MotU live action movie (1987) that's illustrated in a style comparable with the minicomics. The basic story is largely the same, but visually it's a million times better than the live action atrocity is. The only exception is Beast Man, who, for some reason, resembles the onscreen version.

I wrote 'largely the same' because there's a few notable differences between the two. I don't know if it was author Ralph Macchio's own doing or if he was working from a screenplay that got further edited in the final cut, but the comic has some interesting scenes that the movie lacks, most of which function as much-needed characterisation and/or attempt to better connect or even remedy the levels of stupid in the story. [1]

Strings (2004)

Strings (2004)

Dir. Anders Rønnow Klarlund

There's a theory among wordsmiths that all stories that can be told have already been told and all we can do now is find new ways of telling.

The story in Strings isn't unique, but the telling is interesting. It's a fantasy movie about a world divided, acted out by puppets with visible strings. They're visible for a reason: they're a part of the world. If your Head-String is cut you die.

The puppeteers manage to elicit a lot of believable emotion out of the sculpted characters; they're less wooden than many Hollywood actors.

The imagination and sense of wonder on display is magical. Unfortunately, I only had the English language version available, otherwise I might've enjoyed it even more than I already did.

The Unholy (1988)

The Unholy (1988)

Dir. Camilo Vila

A blind-buy for me that turned out to be a lot of supernatural fun. It stars Ben Cross as a Priest named Michael who gets appointed to a New Orleans parish that has been closed for a few years, for reasons that are shown in the movie's opening scene but which I won't spoil.

Inside the church is an evil presence that strives to influence the newcomer, but Father Michael is determined to resist. Yes, it's another tale of Good vs Evil, Heaven vs Hell, etc, happening on Earth, naturally, because that's where that kind of shit nearly always goes down. 

There's often a trade-off in 1980s supernatural movies — such as good FX but bad acting, or good direction ruined by bad editing — but The Unholy does well right across the board.

Spawn: The Movie - Comic Book Adaptation (1997)

Spawn: The Movie (1997)

Adaptation: Ted Adams (from an original story by Mark Dippé + Alan McElroy) | Artist: Carlos D'Anda | Page Count:48

"Each time you go out there, you come back a little more dead inside."

A comic book adaptation of the Spawn movie that in some ways is better than the shit that spawned it.

The first few pages tell of the ongoing battle between Heaven and Hell, and how a demon named Malebolgia requires a leader for his army on Earth, which is where our antihero Al Simmons comes in. A black ops killer for a shady organisation, Al develops something akin to a conscience and begins to lose control of his life.

At just 48 pages it moves stupid-fast, like a Marvel comic from the 90s, leaving a lot of potentially interesting stuff underdeveloped; e.g., the quote above foreshadows a deeply ironic quality that's barely touched upon, and we get no time to know Al before he's thrust into his second life, so the contrast is lost.

Terry and Wanda get even less characterisation. Wynn is a cookie cutter egomaniac, while Cagliostro, who seems to come from nowhere, functions as a standard 'exposition' guy.

The Masters of the Universe Book (2021)

The Masters of the Universe Book (2021)

Author: Simon Beecroft | Page Count: 200

A large format hardcover book (24 x 28 cm, aprrox) published by Dorling Kindersley Ltd.

I've owned plenty of DK books over the years, covering various topics and/or franchises. They typically have lots of quality pictures, in an attempt to detract from the shortage of interesting text. And like a lazy student's homework assignment, in some cases the text that is included is regurgitated content with little emphasis on original thinking.

I expected much the same from The MotU Book, but no, it's really quite good! Author Simon Beecroft seems to have actually cared about what he was writing, and has presented the content in a clear and concise manner. 

It has some real treasures within its pages that make it feel like it was lovingly curated, as opposed to thrown together like many DK books of the past. It's split into chapters, as you'd expect, and within that framework things roughly follow a chronological order.

The Cat Returns (2002)

The Cat Returns (2002)

Dir. Hiroyuki Morita

TCR is a spin-off from Ghibli's Whisper of the Heart (1995) film, and while it's not wholly necessary to have watched WotH prior to TCR, it's recommended, nevertheless, because two of TCR's characters were first introduced in WotH. The earlier film is also where you get the back-story of smartly dressed cat Baron Humbert von Gikkingen. If you don't care about any of that, though, you can enjoy TCR on its own merits.

It's the story of high-school student Haru Yoshioka, a young girl who seems to be constantly running late for class. She's often disorganised, has a messy room, and is a little clumsy. But she has a kind heart, is a good friend, and looks out for animals in need, all of which are positive, inspirational traits.

A selfless act at a busy road earns her the gratitude of the Cat Kingdom, which turns out not to be as welcome a blessing as it may sound.

The Dark Tower: Book I: The Gunslinger (1982)

The Dark Tower: Book I: The Gunslinger (1982)

Author: Stephen King | Page Count: 212

'No one ever really pays for it in silver, he thought. The price of any evil – necessary or otherwise – comes due in flesh.'

Book I is our introduction to Roland Deschain, aka Roland of Gilead, the titular gunslinger and a man obsessed with reaching the Dark Tower. That goal carries him across Mid-World, the land of his birth.

Mid-World is a familiar amalgamation of our own recorded history and a romanticised version of the same. It's the type of fictional reality that fans of King's other works will feel right at home in.

King is best known for horror works, but Dark Tower is fantasy merged with the old-fashioned western. It's still populated with the kind of well-defined characters that the author is good at. Love him or loathe him, you can't deny his strengths.