The Chronicles of Narnia: Live Action Films (2005-10)

The Chronicles of Narnia: Live Action Films

Dirs. Andrew Adamson (Films I + II) / Michael Apted (Film III)

01. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005). Aside from a few minor changes and a couple of newly written action scenes — because it's Hollywood and they just can't help themselves — the WMG + Disney version of C.S. Lewis' beloved children's novel is better than I expected it to be.

The first third is excellent, including each of the young actors. Lucy (Georgie Henley) is particularly good, in that she successfully embodies the sense of wonder that a child should feel after finding another world in the back of an old wardrobe.

Things only really begin to slide when the talking CGI animals appear. The great lion Aslan should have a splendour that eclipses all else, but his being rendered in boring CGI most of the time means that he might as well not be there at all.

The unnecessary use of such across the board is a stain on what I feel is otherwise the best filmed version of the novel, to date.

Masters of the Universe: He-Man: Defender of Grayskull (2005)

MotU: He-Man: Defender of Grayskull (2005)

Genre: Action / Adventure  |  Players: 1  |  Developer: Savage Entertainment

Your objective in Defender of Grayskull, if I'm not mistaken, is to advance through poorly designed and repetitive levels battling bland enemies, employing badly animated sword strikes to end their miserable existence. You can use a roll manoeuvre during combat in an attempt to add variety, but it's not necessary and you'll soon probably grow tired of even that once you discover that that it's quicker to simply lock onto them with L2 (if you're lucky) and hack and slash until they become a crumpled heap.

He-Man's burly physique is referenced often, in the piss-poor animation and in having his every step be accompanied by monotonous heavy footfalls that hammer the player's brain with each laboured step. He can also jump, which enables the awful platform sections to be properly cocked-up. At such times, collision detection in hinted at but largely absent.

Ghost in the Shell: SAC: Complete 1st and 2nd GIG (2018)

GitS: SAC: Complete 1st + 2nd GIG (2018)

Dirs. Various | Seasons: 2 | 52 episodes, approx 25 mins each [Make sure and stick around for the short Tachikomatic Days entries after the credits roll on each one!]

An 8-disc collection that contains all 52 episodes of the Stand Alone Complex TV series - that's 26 episodes apiece for each of the two seasons.

The year is 2030. Public Security Section 9 is a counter-terrorist branch funded by the Japanese government, a team of ass-kicking professionals that get the job done no matter what.

The world is overly dependent on cybernetic bodies; the web has become the medium of choice for terrorists and as a result there exists a large potential for cyber-crime and hacks.

Section 9 specialise in that area. Led by Major Motoko Kusanagi the team deal with corporate terrorism, kidnapping, human trafficking, Ghost hacks (a technique in which a subject's memories are replaced with false ones) and a host of other internal and external threats. They're the people that keep the rest of us safe, often without us even knowing they exist.

2000 AD: Mike Carey (1999—)

2000 AD: Mike Carey (1999—)

Author: Mike Carey | Illustrator: Various | Credits (to date): 25 Progs

I've featured quite a lot of author Mike Carey's comic work over the years. It's mostly been his output under DC's successful Vertigo imprint. I bypassed his work for 2000 AD because the quality is variable, but I'm filling that gap now.

Besides a few Future Shock-esque anthology pieces, he co-created two original series for the magazine: Carver Hale and Thirteen, both of which received a standalone collected edition.

01. Before I get to those, his first published work in the magazine was a one-shot under the Pulp Sci-Fi banner, titled Eggs is Eggs in Prog 1145 (1999), with Cliff Robinson (artist), Chris Blythe (colourist), and Annie Parkhouse (letterer), later reprinted in a Judge Dredd Megazine supplement (#296, March 2010).

Dark Water (2005)

Dark Water (2005)

Dir. Walter Salles

Struggling mother Dahlia (Jennifer Connelly) moves into a dingy apartment in Roosevelt Island with her young daughter Cecilia (Ariel Gade). The building has seen better days, but the recurring dark splodge in one corner of the child's bedroom ceiling may point to something more malevolent than leaky pipes.

Dir. Walter Salles didn't make a lazy US by-the-numbers horror film, which was a pleasant surprise, and nor did he simply replicate Hideo Nakata's superior 2002 film version wholesale, but there's no passion in any of it, perhaps least of all in Connolly.

The Manhattan setting is a clever nod to the 'island' backdrop that's relevant to many Japanese works, and attempting to tether a meaningfully sombre tone to the original story's psychological one was interesting, but ultimately it's just boring. It's also devoid of scares, which I don't think was intentional.

The Ring: US Movies (2002—)

01. The Ring (2002)

Dir. Gore Verbinski

An English language remake of Dir. Hideo Nakata's Japanese language adaptation of Koji Suzuki's popular Ring novel (1991). It's good that horror fans who are unable to read or who simply don't like foreign films can experience the story, but, alas, they'll be getting a much weaker version of it, I feel.

I've known some people who've seen both and favour Verbinski's version, but I can't fathom why. It's not terrible, but it's pretty dull by comparison. That's mostly what Part 01 of this post will be, a comparison, not a standard review, so there'll be unreserved SPOILERS for BOTH versions. Please bear that in mind if you choose to read it.

When Games Attack (2004–05)

When Games Attack

20 episodes, approx 25 mins each.

I was excited to see Dominick Diamond in another video games review show, because GamesMaster (1992-98) had been so good, but the excitement was short-lived. WGA was mostly bad. If it was a gaming peripheral, it'd be a Virtual Boy or a Nintendo Power Glove!

The Road to DUNE (2005)

The Road to DUNE (2006)

Authors: Brian Herbert / Kevin J Anderson / Frank Herbert | Page Count: 381

'These things I tell: the sequential nature of real history cannot be repeated precisely by prescience. We grasp incidents cut out of the chain. That is why I deny my own powers. Eternity moves. It inflicts itself upon me.'

A collection of DUNE related texts that's primarily another cash-in for two of the named authors but may be of legitimate interest to fans of Frank Herbert because it contains material that he wrote for DUNE (1965) and DUNE Messiah (1969) that weren't used, for various reasons; e.g., it was deemed unnecessary; cut for length; or got rewritten prior to final publication.

Unfortunately, that material makes up just a small portion of the book's content, with much of the remainder being bloat or newly written extended universe crap. In the order it appears in the book:

The Sandman Presents: Thessaly - Witch for Hire (2005)

Thessaly - Witch for Hire (2005)

Author: Bill Willingham | Illustrator: Shawn McManus | Page Count: 96

"Anything that exits can be destroyed in some way. It's just a matter of finding the right sprig of mistletoe."

Witch for Hire picks up the story of the last of the Thessalian witches two years after the end of The Thessaliad (2002), a four-issue miniseries that you can also find collected in the Taller Tales (2003) TPB.

If you haven't read the previous adventure, there's some catch-up text at the beginning to get you up to speed.

If you have read it, you'll maybe remember the big unanswered question surrounding the main supporting character. Bill Willingham expands upon that aspect.

Fetch is back, like a bad smell carried by an ill-wind, with a complement of ideas above his station (his station being that he's dead - that's not a spoiler).

The Legend of Zelda Manga: Legendary Ed. Vol. 03 (2017)

Majora's Mask (2001) / A Link to the Past (2005)

Author and Illustrator: Akira Himekawa | Page Count: 402

"As long as I see that in the sky, I can't rest."

Majora's Mask continues the story told in Ocarina of Time (2000). Link enters a mysterious forest searching for his missing fairy, Navi, but trouble ensues and the 'Hero of Time' ends up in a situation wherein he has just three days to stop a major disaster or everyone caught in the impact will die.

The way the Nintendo 64 game is structured doesn't make any kind of linear adaptation easy, so Akira Himekawa took the only sensible route open, which was to focus on the acquisition of those masks that directly alter Link and ignore all but the most pertinent side-quest, i.e. the one that offers the most opportunity to pluck at the heartstrings. If you've played MM, you can likely guess which one that is.

Consequently, a lot more changes have been made to the story than was made to Ocarina of Time, but in most cases they were arguably unavoidable and, as before, they're very respectful.

Stargate SG-1: Season 09 (2005-06)

Stargate SG-1: Season 09 (2005-06)

Dirs. Various | 20 episodes, approx 44 minutes each.

Year nine begins with another new opening credits sequence, but that's the least of the changes. Three new cast members are added to the home team, and there's an entirely new non-Goa'uld threat that's intent on forcing the whole universe to follow a new system of beliefs.

That's arguably the goal of many organised religions, but the threat in question has the means to destroy entire planets if the inhabitants refuse to convert. Mercifully, none of Earth's actual world religions are able to do that.

The new cast members include Gen. Hank Landry (Beau Bridges) and Lt. Col. Cameron Mitchell (Ben Browder). Landry is bland, but he has the lesser role. Mitchell, on the other hand, is to the fore as he tries to reassemble the original SG-1 team after the events of Season 08.

Lucifer: Volume 08 (2005)

The Wolf Beneath the Tree (2005)

Author: Mike Carey | Illustrators: Peter Gross / Ryan Kelly / P. Craig Russell / Ted Naifeh | Page Count: 160

"To read aloud from the book makes the book an element in the story it tells."

Volume 08 of 11 in the Lucifer series opens with the 50th issue, pencilled by P. Craig Russell. He did The Sandman 50th issue, so it's pleasing that he got to do Lucifer, too. The art is of his usual high standard, full of open splendour or intimate moments when needed.

It's titled Lilith. If you've followed the series from the beginning, you may be able to guess how that ties in with events thus far and what it means for one or more of the supporting characters. But what we weren't told previously is how large a part it played in other events.

A gathering puts the Lightbringer face to face with the embodiment of the thing that he despises most.

Readers who've been paying attention to what they've been reading up to now will notice that it's the very thing that the former ruler of Hell has spent the previous seven books trying to escape.

Stargate SG-1: Season 08 (2004-05)

SG-1: Season 08 (2004-05)

Dirs. Various | 20 episodes, approx 44 minutes each.

Most of the science-fiction television series that I'm a fan of ended either before or at their seventh season. In fact, I think now might be the first time that I've featured an eighth season of something sci-fi on the blog. In that respect, if nothing else, SG-1 Series 08 is an exception to me. It was reduced to just 20 episodes, but eight years is still a heck of an achievement.

As if to mark the occasion, it has another new opening credits sequence. I don't know if what I write next will be considered spoiler by many folks, but I'll give a warning now, just in case.

Amid the action scenes in the opening sequence, the most notable thing is that Carter isn't the only one with a new hairstyle - Teal'c has one, or rather Teal'c now has some actual hair!

It's a little odd at first, but he's the same dependable ex-Jaffa as he always was, and it even plays a role, of sorts, in one of the episodes.

Lucifer: Volume 07 (2005)

 Exodus (2005)

Author: Mike Carey | Illustrators: Peter Gross / Ryan Kelly | Page Count: 168

"I served our Father faithfully, and my reward was to be chastised for not being you."

Volume 07 of 11 in the Lucifer series. The Morningstar is forced to take preventative measures to ensure the safety of his property. After the effort expelled to create and then to keep it, to leave it open to God's whim now would be folly. The duty forces him into a position with the Heavenly Host that he'd rather avoid, but sometimes circumstance force the hand of even angels.

Elsewhere, the secondary characters are given more to do, in a more thought-out and interesting storyline than last time. And while that leaves Lucifer absent a lot of the time, it really didn't matter because the parallel storylines kept my attention diverted.

There's a lot of humour in Exodus. It was unexpected but not unwelcome after the drawn-out nature of the previous book. The fugly little fallen Cherub Gaudium gets a chance to shine. He and his sister could sustain an off-shoot of their own, about the domestic problems of two incompetent siblings. I’d buy it.

A History of Violence (2005)

A History of Violence (2005)

Dir. David Cronenberg

An adaptation of John Wagner and Vince Locke's 1997 comic book of the same name, which I've not read, at time of writing.

It's a slow burning drama about what happens to an Indiana family unit when one member's violent past catches up with them, despite a sincere attempt to leave it behind.

Themes of identity and safety are also explored, as the family discover that once a door to such behaviour is unwillingly opened, there's no reliable way to control the route it takes or the people that it touches.

Viggo Mortensen is excellent in his role as a small town diner owner who must respond to something bigger. It marked a turning point in his career - or maybe just in how I saw him. Prior to working with Cronenberg, he had nothing special, to speak of. Thereafter, he delivered a string of strong performances.

The Mindscape of Alan Moore (2005)

The Mindscape of Alan Moore (2005)

Dirs. Dez Vylenz + Moritz Winkler

Alan Moore, author, magician and worthy apostle of gravy-sopping beards speaks directly to the viewer.

His words are accompanied by reflective imagery that helps illustrate the feelings and social consciousness of Britain of the era about which he speaks.

When juxtaposed with selective comic panels from his most famous collected works, such as Watchmen (1987) and V for Vendetta (1990), and some of his lesser-known ones (e.g., D.R. & Quinch), a deeper understanding of his methodology and strongly-felt philosophies and motivations is unearthed and is, to say the least, inspiring food for thought.

The cogs of Hollywood have tried but always failed to capture the essence of Moore onscreen; Mindscape will help you to understand why that is.

Deadwood: Season Two (2005)

Deadwood: Season Two (2005)

12 episodes, approx 45-55 minutes each.

With characters and motivations already well-established in the first season, all that was really needed to keep fans happy was to further increase the levels of antagonism and the uneasy alliances between disparate parties. A new arc picking up on something that loomed at the end of S1 gave the writers the foundation they needed to do so.

In theory it works perfectly. However, partway through there's a slow but obvious slide into the dirtiest of words: 'soap' and 'opera.' A large portion of the middle of the second season feels like a soap opera with small stories of residents that aren't as crucial to the drama as they’d like to be. They’re shuffled around so as not to interfere too much but still be sympathetic to the larger issue of annexation that threatens to tear the camp from the grip of saloon owner Al Swearengen (Ian McShane).

The Mighty Boosh: TV Series (2004-07)

The Mighty Boosh: TV Series (2004-07)

Three Series | 20 episodes, approx 28 minutes each.

TMB is an alternative British comedy series that's just plain weird. I can't even think of an easy comparison to make this review go any quicker.

The show revolves primarily around two main characters, namely Howard Moon (Julian Barratt) and Vince Noir (Noel Fielding), both of whom in Series One are zookeepers at England's shittiest Zoo, The Zooniverse, a dilapidated and mostly empty crappy little hovel with bored animals.

Howard resembles the guy from your local supermarket who hovers in the bread aisle. He agonises over every decision, loves jazz funk, and wants desperately to sleep with Mrs Gideon (Victoria Wicks), the Reptile House lady.

Vince resembles a Dr Doolittle and Rod Stewart love child. He has perfect hair, a love of electro-pop, and a laid back attitude to life. The less he tries the more he succeeds. Mrs Gideon, the Reptile House lady, wants to sleep with him.

Nine Inch Nails: With Teeth (2005)

NIN: [WITH_TEETH] (2005)

NIN's fourth full-length studio album is the most accessible, radio-friendly work that Reznor had made to date. Lyrically it takes the familiar dip into waters of self-loathing existentialism, but parts of its production are bright and airy, with happy sounding drums and inoffensive instrument distortion.

After repeated spins a large part of it can get tiresome to listen to, but there are just enough moments of beauty and strength rising above the safety net to make a purchase worthwhile. The songs Every Day is Exactly the Same and Sunspots are especially notable. Overall, it's like a NIN starter kit for the kids.

Doctor Who: Christopher Eccleston (2005)

Doctor Who: Christopher Eccleston (2005)

The Ninth Doctor | 13 episodes, approx 45 mins each.

After a nine year hiatus the time-travelling Doctor Who returned to TV screens in what was the beginning of a new extended run for the show. It got a new lead actor, too, in the form of Christopher Eccleston, whose tenure as the Ninth Doctor lasted just one series.

Without meaning to detract from the creative team behind the scenes that got the show moving again, many of whom surely deserve equal credit and praise, on the surface (i.e., onscreen) Eccleston revitalised the character.

His short cropped hair, well-worn leather coat and carefree walk made him recognisable, but it was the personality that made him stand out. The buoyant devil-may-care attitude projected an outward confidence, but every now and again there'd be a crack in the armour and we'd glimpse a deep sadness, underpinned by a feeling of loss and culpability. In the TARDIS time-machine he could go anywhere and see anything, but in the long term he was a lone traveller who was very, very far from home.