Hawk the Slayer: Watch for Me in the Night (2023)

Hawk the Slayer: Watch for Me in the Night (2023)

Author: Garth Ennis | Illustrator: Henry Flint | Page Count: 128

"Since last you rode those awful paths, the black woods have almost doubled in size..."

Forty-three years! That's how long it took for a sequel to Hawk the Slayer (1980) to emerge. That's quite a span.

The only downside is the continuation is a comic book, not a movie. Wait, that's not a downside. It's quite the opposite, in fact, given how shit-awful modern fantasy movies are. The comic has no CGI, no extended universe crap, and no woke politics. That's a bona fide upside!

Was it worth the wait? No, but it did inspire me to rewatch the movie, so, again, I'm calling it a good thing.

Its story, written by Garth Ennis, of Hellblazer and Preacher fame, feels like an 80s B-Movie, which is how it should feel, in reverence to its predecessor.

It follows Hawk as he reunites with the remaining members of the Table of Five. Together with a couple of newbies, they go to thwart a great evil.

Mötley Crüe: The Dirt: Declassified (2023)

Mötley Crüe: The Dirt: Declassified (2023)

Author: Leah Moore | Illustrators: David Cabeza (with John K Snyder III / Patricio Delpeche / Armitano / Vasilis Lolos) | Page Count: 160

 

"I don't have time for this shit!"

It's not the first time that members of Mötley Crüe have been seen in a comic book format, but, as far I know, they've not been depicted as undercover government operatives before now. That's the premise. I shit you not. And things don't get any better from there.

The story sees the band reforming, but it's a front so that they can tour specific locations and investigate why teenage music fans are turning into 'zombies'.

Something that ridiculous must be a clever allegory, right? Perhaps a satirical commentary on the music business and its treatment of fans? Maybe it is. I'm certain it was meant to be silly fun, not taken seriously, but my feeling was that it was an ineptly written mess that lacked any redeeming subtext whatsoever.

Godzilla: Reiwa Era Films (2016—)

29. Shin Godzilla (2016)

Dirs. Hideaki Anno + Shinji Higuchi

NOTE: numbering continues sequentially from the Millennium Era. For simplicity I've used English titles, but it's always the Japanese language versions of the films that I refer to.

Another hard reset of the franchise, with a new creature design and new origin story behind it.

The majority of the film involves politicians, bureaucrats, military leaders, etc, talking about how to deal with the irradiated daikaijū threat.

It utilises fast cuts to give the impression that things being discussed hurriedly is some kind of compensation for things being uninteresting - but it's really not. The first hour in particular is dense with such dry, ponderous dialogue.

Godzilla, referred to as male more than once in the English subs, is mostly CGI, mo-capped so that it moves kind of like a man in a suit. It gets points for good intentions, but ultimately it's just another CGI creature with zero personality. If I wanted that I'd watch the American films.