Bathory: Albums (1988-91)

Bathory: Albums (1988-91)

I once heard someone describe the Blood Fire Death (1988) album as a collection of quality songs. The description is certainly valid, but it's also a vast understatement of the truth. BFD is a ground-breaking, momentous human achievement, the importance of which cannot be overstressed. Like the eponymous début album, it delivered something unprecedented that made everyone else sit up and take notice.

The thundering intro, the use of acoustics, the Viking symbolism, the choirs, the cleaner vocals, the pounding drums, the torturing wail of the electric guitars, the Pure Fucking Armageddon heaviness of it all was something that the world hadn't experienced before. In short, it changed the face of metal and made Quorthon a living legend.

Batman: The Animated Series: Movies (1993-03)

Batman: TAS: Movies (1993-03)

inc. The New Batman Adventures

01. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993, Dirs. Eric Radomski + Bruce Timm) was the first film in the DC Animated Universe (TAS).

Its Bruce Wayne (Kevin Conroy) isn't just an angry orphan fighting against a world that he feels took something irreplaceable from him, he's a flawed dark avenger, suffering emotional conflicts as he weighs the lure of a normal, loving relationship against an earnest vow to protect others from the pain he weathers. He's fully aware of why he does what he does, but finds reasons to justify it.

The emotional twists and turns in the story are supported by a number of flashbacks that, among other things, tell the story of his first few forays into night-time vigilantism.

Black Diamond (1983-84)

Black Diamond (1983-84)

Author: Various | Illustrators: Various | 5 Issues, approx 34 pages each

"Don't panic! I just want your outfit!"

A short-lived comicbook that presents itself as a movie tie-in, albeit one that launched before the movie it's supposed to tie-in with. So far so good, but the onscreen version never happened, so the comic is all we have to give us an idea of what the movie's story might've been like. (I've added a few promo shots of lead actress Sibyl Danning in costume at the post's end, for anyone interested.)

The basic premise is as follows: Tiana Matthews is a successful fashion model for Multmonde, a role that sees her traverse borders for fashion shoots, etc. But secretly, Tiana is also an agent for INFO COM THREE, a role that sees her traverse borders for spy antics and action shootouts, etc. Her code name in the second scenario is Black Diamond. [1]

Her greatest enemy is an international crime cartel known as QUANSA. If you're thinking that sounds kinda like James Bond and SPECTRE, then your thinking is correct. It's spy fiction with gadgets and ridiculous world-domination plans.

Bathory: Albums (1984-87)

Bathory: Albums (1984-87)

It seems that I've not made a single post about Bathory yet! That oversight will now be rectified. In short: No Bathory = No Black Metal.

That's just a widespread opinion that I share, not an established fact.

I know that Venom managed to coin the phrase two years prior, but it took the genius of Bathory's Quorthon (Tomas Forsberg) to turn the phrase into something more than just playful word association; Quorthon gave it life. Bathory shits on Venom from a great height after a week-long diet of prunes and porridge - metal prunes and substantially heavy porridge.

If you're a Venom fan and want to counter by saying that perhaps No Venom = No Bathory, then I won't argue because the jury is (and likely always will be) out on that. But to me, Venom are like Spinal Tap with studded wristbands, in comparison. Bathory is a Storm of Damnation, a Wind of Mayhem, etc.

Blood into Wine (2010)

Blood into Wine (2010)

Dirs. Ryan Page + Christopher Pomerenke

A documentary about wine making, specifically the Caduceus brand wine produced by Maynard James Keenan and Eric Glomski on a vineyard in Arizona, of all places. I don't like wine, but I do like documentaries, so I gave it a try and enjoyed the majority of it.

Glomski's knowledge of geology and cultivation was thoroughly engaging, as were his feelings about our relationship with the natural world.

Maynard James Keenan, for those that don't recognise the name, is a singer / songwriter, most notably of Tool and A Perfect Circle. His contribution is equally as interesting, structured as a kind of creative journey with some deeply personal interludes. Not one for media-whoring, he doesn't succumb to ego, and doesn't come across as a typical 'Rock Star' asshole. [1]

Babylon 5: To Dream in the City of Sorrows (1997)

To Dream in the City of Sorrows (1997)

Author: Kathryn M. Drennan | Page Count: 278

'Under his leadership, the Anla'shok were the most efficient and deadly fighting force the galaxy has ever seen. But Valen also recognized a danger in this. He knew that without an enemy to fight, such a group could become restless and dissatisfied...'

Excluding the novelizations of the TV Movies, City of Sorrows is the only Babylon 5 book that is one hundred percent part of the five year canon. It's fully sanctioned by creator J. Michael Straczynski and is penned by his then wife, Kathryn M. Drennan.

It's the story of what happened to Commander Jeffrey Sinclair after he left the station. It relies heavily on your knowledge of the TV series and as such is stuck between having to remain faithfully tied to it and trying to present something exciting and independently new.

Batman: The Animated Series (1992–95)

Batman: The Animated Series (1992–95)

Dirs. Various | 85 Episodes (65 in S1 + 20 in S2), approx 22 mins each. [1]

Quintessential - that's what The Animated Series version of Batman is for me, outside of the printed page. Whether it be live action or animation, TAS is superior to every other onscreen interpretation of the iconic character that I've encountered thus far.

That same adjective applies to two of its most notable voice actors. Firstly, Kevin Conroy, who provides the voice of both billionaire Bruce Wayne and his pointy-eared and black-caped nighttime alter ego. [2]

The other, mentioned second but no less memorable than the first is Mark Hamill, who brings maniacal life to The Joker. I've not enjoyed Hamill's work outside of TAS, but as the clown prince of crime he's a master.

Blackstar (1981)

Blackstar (1981)

13 episodes, approx 22 mins each.

It's well-known among the Masters of the Universe fanbase that some of the toy-line's action figures were repurposed assets from Mattel's own Big Jim franchise, but what's mentioned much less often is that Filmation's animated MotU TV series did some blatant borrowing of its own, from their short-lived Blackstar (1981) TV series, which came out two years before MotU and is in many respects a kind of precursor to the format that MotU settled on.

John Blackstar's origin is entirely different to He-Man's, and he doesn't have a secret dual identity, but the similarities in other areas are numerous and undoubtedly more than mere coincidence.

The show's opening credits provide backstory, which I'll transcribe below, for anyone who's interested:

Bad Influence! (1992-96)

Bad Influence! (1992-96)

4 Series | 57 episodes total, approx 20 minutes each.

Bill and Ted Face the Music (2020)

Bill and Ted Face the Music (2020)

Dir. Dean Parisot

I've not featured Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey (1991) on the 7th and Last because, simply put, I hated it. I mention it now only because it's somewhat necessary to have seen it to understand the relationship between Bill (Alex Winter) and Ted (Keanu Reeves) and the Grim Reaper (William Sadler), all of whom returned for Face the Music (2020).

The titular duo's destiny, as foretold in Excellent Adventure (1989) — which is to write a song so emotionally stirring that it'll unite all of humanity in glorious, peaceful harmony — hasn't happened. The world is largely unchanged, as are Bill and Ted, except that they're older and each has a daughter - that's them on the cover art: Billie (Brigette Lundy-Paine) and Thea (Samara Weaving).

The initial promotions had me worried that it would be another example of Hollywood trying to force some element of gender-swapping, but happily the story avoids that. And while I didn't warm to the new duo much at all, they didn't feel like they were in the way, and they'd a genuinely vital, complementary role to play in the story.

The Sandman Presents: Bast: Eternity Game (2003)

Bast: Eternity Game (2003)

Author: Caitlin R. Kiernan | Illustrator: Joe Bennett | Page Count: 66 (total)

'Sleep, child. Sleep and follow me.'

Gods aren't flesh and blood. Gods don't die. They simply fade away when no one remembers their name or what they represented. Bast, the Egyptian cat goddess, isn't willing to go quietly into the neglected nothingness, so she attempts a comeback. What she craves — namely, sincere belief and a sustained worship in the waking world — is still possible, but in her diminished state reaching out across the realms for a second chance will take every last reserve of power that she has left.

Who better to latch onto than another female who is herself on the fringes, who doesn't fit comfortably in her environment? Lucy McCuller's troubles make her susceptible to Bast's influences, but Lucy's problems are bigger than her. What's more is that ambition — in any form — has a tendency to take on a life of its own.

The Beastmaster: Films (1982-96)

The Beastmaster (1982)

Dir. Don Coscarelli

Many of the elements that made a successful sword and sorcery movie in the 80s are in place, including a wicked high priest (Rip Torn) who uses magic and religion to keep a position of power, a banishment, a trio of scrying hags with a dangerous prophecy, a cool bladed weapon or two, a peaceful village burned to the ground, and a sympathetic hero on a quest for revenge / redemption, but The Beastmaster isn't the genre classic that as a youth I used to think it was.

It's still mostly entertaining, however, with a neat ingredient that separates it from the pack, namely the hero's ability to communicate with animals like some kind of barbarian Dolittle. Inevitably, he makes friends and allies as he journeys toward his ultimate goal, but the most memorable of them all are arguably the smallest ones.

Boiling Point (1990)

Boiling Point (1990)

Dir. Takeshi Kitano

Baseball is a popular sport in Japan. Masaki (Yūrei Yanagi) is a batter, but he isn't any good and his level of enthusiasm for the role appears to match his level in almost all things, which is visibly nil. A chance encounter at his place of employment leads to him drifting into Yakuza company, specifically an impulsive man named Uehara (Takeshi Kitano) and his two companions.

Dir. Kitano's second film saw his style evolve: a method of humour that's deadpan funny without seeming to have any actual jokes - although the loose construction can feel a little like tactically placed skits, so may be off-putting to some folks. It's not an ideal first Kitano film, but if you've seen and enjoyed any of his later (middle period) works, it can be a rewarding experience. 

NOTE: the poster art used above has the film's original Japanese title, San tai Yon ekkusu Jugatsu (3-4x10月), which translates to 3 to 4x October (according to Wikipedia).

The Box of Delights (1984)

The Box of Delights (1984)

Dir. Renny Rye | 6 episodes, approx 30 minutes each.

In Britain TBoD is much-loved by many people, both young and old. I suspect that at least some part of the warm feelings that accompany such thoughts are to do with similar feelings toward the holiday season in which it's typically shown on television; i.e. the lead up to Christmas.

I'm not implying that to love the series you need also to love Christmas, but there's a definite correlation there. As such, while I sincerely enjoy what the production does on a technical level, its 'seasonal magic' is merely perfunctory for me.

And I apologise if it seems like I'm treading cruelly on someone's childhood memories when I say that the story is frequently uneven, losing ground in the middle section before pulling it back for an exciting ending that was itself followed by what I'd consider a clichéd cop-out if it wasn't for the slight ambiguity that lingers as the credits roll. Not meant to be unkind, it's simply a true refection of one person's feelings.

Beyond Rue Morgue (2013)

Beyond Rue Morgue Anthology:
Further Tales of Edgar Allan Poe's 1st Detective (2013)

Editors: Paul Kane / Charles Prepolec | Authors (in the order presented): Edgar Allan Poe / Mike Carey / Simon Clark / Weston Ochse + Yvonne Navarro / Jonathan Maberry / Joe R. Lansdale / Elizabeth Massie / Lisa Tuttle / Stephen Volk / Clive Barker | Page Count: 332 

"Between ingenuity and the analytic ability there exists a difference far greater, indeed, than that between the fancy and the imagination, but of a character very strictly analogous. It will be found, in fact, that the ingenious are always fanciful, and the truly imaginative never otherwise than analytic."

The detective in Edgar Allan Poe's short story Murders in the Rue Morgue (1841), Le Chevalier C. Auguste Dupin, was used by the author in two more of his works, The Mystery of Marie Rogêt (1842) and later The Purloined Letter (1844). Considered the world of literature's first mystery detective, Dupin was solving horrific crimes long before either Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot.

Famously, the word 'detective' hadn't even been coined when Poe penned his first Dupin mystery. His crime-solver used what the author called 'ratiocination'. But you can read about all of that in the book's introduction, so I won't spend any more time on it. Commenting on the stories in the pictured book is why I'm here. As the full title says, it's 'further tales' of Dupin, written by a number of different authors and in a number of different styles.

The Bible: Miniseries (2013)

The Bible: Miniseries (2013)

Dirs. Crispin Reece (Eps 01, 02, 05, 06) / Tony Mitchell (Eps 03, 04, 10) / Christopher Spencer (Eps 07, 08, 09)  | 10 episodes, approx 45 mins each.

A ten-episode miniseries based on The Bible. A disclaimer at the beginning of each one states that 'it endeavours to stay true to the spirit of the book.' That's another way of saying that the series makers haven't always remained faithful to the accepted scriptures.

Personally, and without trying to offend anyone, I don't have a problem with things being that way because I perceive the work as a TV show that's taking dramatic licence with a text that itself took dramatic licence with historic events; the precedent for deviation was already set. If, on the other hand, you're deeply religious and take every word as it's written in The Bible as a literal truth, then you may have issues with both the series and my personal appreciation of it.

Burzum: Dunkelheit (1996)

Burzum: Dunkelheit (1996)

Dir. David Palser

The only official video release (to date) by Burzum was quickly bought by fans, myself included, and just as quickly divided them. Sure, you could've made it yourself with a home video camera and a meagre knowledge of video editing, but wasn't that the point?

The shaky, conceptual imagery perfectly suited the underlying ethos, capturing and/or translating a resonance and mood that conveyed the dark duality of nature. It's just one song, Dunkelheit from the Filosofem (1995) album, but the chosen visuals complemented the audio, which was a mesmerising minimalism wedded to a harsh but pleasing experimentalism. The repetition, too, played into that.

I've noticed that an individual's feelings toward the work tend to reflect their feelings toward nature; whether or not that holds true with a larger sample size I can't say, but I'd be interested in finding out.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

Dir. Stephen Herek

B+TEA is special to me for a reason that may bore almost everyone, but I feel obliged to relate it because I love the film and owe it at least that much, for what I feel it gave to me.

I saw it first at a time in my life that was, let's say, pivotal in learning about who I was as a person and how my actions affected others.

I bought it back when VHS was the dominant home media format and watched it many, many times - I knew every scene by heart.

Alas, it happened that one evening a VHS tape was needed at VERY short notice in order to record from TV something that was even more beloved (i.e., Star Trek: TNG) and the B+TEA tape was the only one available...

Batman / Judge Dredd (1991-98)

Judgement on Gotham (1991)

Authors: John Wagner / Alan Grant | Artist: Simon Bisley | Page Count: 61

"I'm goin' into an uncontrollable butt frenzy!"

Picking Judgement on Gotham off a shelf in '91 was the most excited I've ever been for a ridiculous comic crossover event. Joe Dredd and Batman! Whoa!

I imagined the personality clash to be like two worlds colliding. Okay, it's not quite that good, but it's still pretty awesome and revisiting it again despite being twenty+ years older gave me a similar kind of joy.

In previous years Batman had faced some twisted minds in his own world, but he'd never encountered anything quite like Judge Death before. When the superfiend D-Jumps from Mega-City One to Gotham it's going to take more than a glimpse of a winged mammal suit to save the city from being Judddgggged.

You'll need to be a fan of both characters to get the most from it. Authors Wagner and Grant had more experience writing for Joe, and it shows. They don't do Batman an injustice, they capture his personality well and don't compromise his integrity, but when weighed out it's mostly Dredd's story. I'm perfectly okay with that, but it's worth mentioning in case you're here solely for Batsy.

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992)

Dir. Francis Ford Coppola

Coppola's adaptation of Bram Stoker's Dracula (1897) is visually interesting. He mutates the German expressionists love of shadow into something pure Hollywood but still effectively dramatic. On top of that he heaps dozens of colourful and theatrical elements, but it's more than the film can comfortably support.

If it was a cup it'd be ornate and gilded but wouldn’t hold much water (or blood).

The Dracula character (Gary Oldman) is a tragic figure responsible for his own curse, thus ensuring that his grief lasts for centuries. Heartache can cause us to do odd things, but he really didn't think that through.

The acting by most of the cast is dodgy at best. Keanu Reeves as Jonathan Harker, Winona Ryder as Mina Murray, and Sadie Frost as Lucy Westenra are just plain awful. Gary Oldman is fantastic as an old man, but his younger self has a hopeless romantic shtick that quickly bores.