Masters of the Universe (1987)

Masters of the Universe (1987)

Dir. Gary Goddard

I suspect that prior to helming MotU director Gary Goddard had nurtured a lifelong dream of making a Star Wars film, or perhaps he was under instruction by the studio to do his best to secretly emulate it. Either way, the result is the same.

If you're wondering how those two franchises could ever fit together... they don’t, and yet the plot, camera angles, costumes and music are all painfully reminiscent of Star Wars. (There's some of Williams’ Superman in there that's even more ill-fitting). I'm not a lover of Lucas' light space opera, so the similarities didn't make me smile.

It's fitting that they dropped the 'He-Man' name from the title, because he's hardly in it. If that wasn't bad enough, most of the story doesn't even take place on Eternia! Insult to injury.

Somehow they managed to make He-Man just look like Dolph in cosplay undies. Meg Foster was a good choice for Evil-Lyn, but she's underused. Poor old Skeletor looks like an anaemic Jack Palance. I suppose I should be thankful that the budget meant Orko was left out.

Revisiting this kind of thing as an adult can be a fun experience, falsely heightened by a spoonful of sugary nostalgia, but even as a kid I knew the live action Masters of the Universe was crap.