Torchwood: TV Series (2006-11)

Torchwood (2006-11)

Dirs: various | 4 Seasons | 41 episodes, approx 44-57 mins each.

A Doctor Who offshoot that was targeted at a more mature audience than its parent series. In theory that's an interesting prospect, but in reality the definition of 'mature' seems to have been derived from a yobbish, vulgar, and sex-obsessed teenager's personal diary.

Season 01 is particularly bad in that regard, as if the show's writers believed that profanity and multiple references to casual sex were compensation for a well-written script. [1]

Consequently, most of its episodes are a dismal and joyless slog through predominantly bland storytelling, populated with unlikable characters whose traits are more often than not reprehensible and shameful.

I suspect it's more due to blind luck than any kind of skilful plan that it managed not to turn the group's leader, Doctor Who's Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman), into the same. [2]

Series 01 + 02: the opening credits establish what Torchwood is and what it does, which is protect humanity from (mostly) extra-terrestrial threats while existing "outside the government" and "beyond the police", which essentially means they do what they like, without reproach.

Working for Captain Jack is Doctor Owen Harper (Burn Gorman), a serial date-rapist who abuses his position and power on a regular basis. Owen is a world-class piece of shit. It's interesting to have each member flawed in some way, but Owen's continued presence was arguably a step too far. How the writers didn't foresee how his actions could be perceived is staggering - accepting him as one of the 'good' guys is asking too much of discerning viewers.

Co-worker Toshiko Sato (Naoko Mori) is the group's computer whizz. She's a blank character who seems to have no life beyond her onscreen time. She's there to make up the numbers.

Next is Ianto Jones (Gareth David-Lloyd), who makes the teas, but over time gets more to do. Ianto is the most sympathetic member of the team. I don't recall him doing anything particularly heinous, but I may have just forgotten due to his character being so blandly written.

The last and newest member of the team is Gwen Cooper (Eve Myles). A complete mess of characterisation, Gwen brings an outsider perspective, but is a habitual liar who treats her faithful partner like a ragged doormat. She epitomises hypocrisy and selfishness - although one could argue that such duplicity is to be expected, given that she was originally a police officer. Gwen gets her introduction to Torchwood around the same time as the viewers do. Does that mean she's the one that we're most expected to relate to? I sincerely hope not.

- School-tie; Queen of Falsity; The Coat; Shit-bag; Background Girl -

Series 01 + 02 uses the standard 'monster of the week' format, with ongoing character arcs given varying levels of attention. With the exception of a single episode (out of twenty-six), they're the worst thing set in the Doctor Who universe that I've seen so far.

Series 03 is different, though, in many ways. Devised and partly-written by Russell T. Davies, it's one long story split over just five episodes and it's good. It's good! 🤯

It's not just the episode count that's reduced; the team is, too. I won't say who is absent, but I personally didn't miss them. A secondary character from before gets promoted to a regular, with a new perspective, offsetting the team's offensive rough edges with more relatable flaws. The story even manages to do what S02 couldn't, which is to make the characters less hateful. It's as if they binned the schoolboy diary and used an actual dictionary definition of 'mature'.

Titled Children of Earth the five-episode series has its share of unconvincing human behaviour, but it's the best that Torchwood ever got. Interestingly, it features Peter Capaldi in a major role as a Civil Servant. Capaldi had played an entirely different character in S04 of Doctor Who, and just a few years after Torchwood would go on to be cast as the Twelfth Doctor!

The wise thing to do thereafter would've been to stick to the five-episode mini-series format, but Series 04, titled Miracle Day, changes things again. It's a ten-episode joint British–American co-production that, as is the norm under such unions, got American writers and cast members added. But more than that, it got a change of location from Wales to America itself.

The result is that it feels like just another homogeneous US drama most of the time, with similar character types doing similar things in overused locations. The story has some interesting ideas beneath the shiny new veneer, but it succumbs to the usual pitfalls; i.e., it drags the story out far beyond its necessary length, then tries to compensate by making every scene 'all drama, all the time', with no room to breathe or reflect on the more personal issues. The result is a sustained 'high intensity' bore with a payoff that feels diluted because of the contrived pacing.

Alternatively, if you enjoy the US TV drama format, then ignore everything I said in the paragraph above. It'll probably tick your boxes. It even has post-finale cliff-hangers. 

With lower viewer ratings than expected, Torchwood on TV was ended. It lives on in pulp novels and audio dramas from Big Finish, etc, for those that want more.

- More guns than people on the cover? We're not in Cardiff anymore. -

[1] In contrast, The Sarah Jane Adventures (2008-12) went in the opposite direction by writing for children and delivered stories that are inherently more rewarding: S01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05

[2] Provided you don't apply Aesop's principle that a man is known by the company he keeps, otherwise it did turn him into the same. Either way, Jack was first seen in an episode titled The Empty Child (S01, Ep 09 of the revived series), alongside the Ninth Doctor.