The Lost World + Return to the Lost World (1992)

The Lost World + Return to the Lost World (1992)

Dir. Timothy Bond

One of my favourite books as a child was a 1981 Ladybird Children's Classics edition of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World (1912).

It was a small hardcover edition, heavily abridged (52 pp) with storybook illustrations by Martin Aitchison throughout. I must've read it at least 40 times over the years. The edition I had came with an audio cassette of someone reading the book aloud, with music and sound FX at appropriate times - meaning everyone in the household could 'enjoy' my reading of it, too.

It didn't birth a lifelong love of dinosaurs, which is something that many kids from my generation have, but it did contribute to a lifelong love of books and of storytelling, in general.

That in itself is reason enough for me to want to feature the story on the blog in some capacity.  I chose a movie version, for reasons. And for additional reasons, it was the 1992 version.

Never-Ending Man: Hayao Miyazaki (2016)

Never-Ending Man: Hayao Miyazaki (2016)

Dir. Kaku Arakawa

A TV documentary about Studio Ghibli co-founder Hayao Miyazaki. It begins with an announcement of retirement from a man not suited to retirement, and then shows what he does afterwards, which is go back to work.

Among other things, it explores the making of his short film Boro the Caterpillar (2018), including his openness and frustrations of using CGI during the creative process. The handheld camerawork feels amateurish, resembling something shot on a phone, intended for YouTube more than TV,  but over time (and probably more by accident than design) it captures something close and personal, thanks mostly to being present during moments of insight from its subject: an artisan with a lifetime of true experience.

I feel that what we get is merely a lucky glimpse of a larger, unseen whole, but it's still worthwhile viewing for anyone interested in how an animation studio of Ghibli's calibre does things.

The Omen: Films (1976-06)

The Omen: Films (1976-06)

Dirs. Various

01. The film that single-handedly caused kids named Damien to get targeted by bullies at school throughout the 80s (and beyond?), The Omen (1976 / Dir. Richard Donner) is a 1970s suspense / horror film that relies on mood and pace to elicit a progressive sense of dread in the viewer.

Gregory Peck is utterly believable as the American Senator with an evil little shit for a son (Harvey Stephens). Throw in some horror convention, a creepy nanny, a house that lacks life, and a biblical poem and you have a classic that looks dated but still manages to shock and entertain.

In lesser roles are David Warner, Billie Whitelaw, and Patrick Troughton, all of whom are equally great. Prolific composer Jerry Goldsmith's musical score adds an extra layer of palpable eeriness.

Tactical Unit: The TV Movies (2008-09)

Tactical Unit: The TV Movies (2008-09)

Dirs. Various (see below)

Note: Five TV Movies that followed Johnnie To's PTU (2003). You don't need to have seen PTU in order to follow the story of each TU movie, but it might be helpful and it's such a good film that I feel compelled to encourage a viewing, anyhow.

Tactical Unit TV Movies in the order released:

01. In Tactical Unit: The Code (2008), directed by Wing-Cheong Law, three members of the PTU are captured on CCTV while beating up a civilian (i.e., crook), but the picture is grainy and their faces aren't clear. While an internal division that deals with corrupt cops tries to uncover the truth, the guilty trio hunt for the one man who can identify them: the man that they left bleeding in an alley. Ultimately, it's a race against time for both parties.

Ju-On: Films (2000-15)

Ju-On: Films (2000-15)

Dirs. Various

Ju-On's debut on screen was in 1998 as two short films created, written, and directed by Takashi Shimizu. Together they made up one half of a TV Movie named Gakkō no kaidan G (1998), but I'll be skipping those and going direct to the feature-length movies that followed. (The shorts are titled Katasumi and 4444444444, if you wish to research further.)

It might seem like the wrong approach to take, but it's not necessary to have seen them to enjoy what came after. Furthermore, the order below isn't even the one that I experienced them on first viewing, thanks to how they were released in the UK at the time. [1]

01. Ju-On: The Curse (2000 / Dir. Takashi Shimizu) was the first feature-length entry in the series. A straight-to-video (V-Cinema) release that came out two years before the more successful cinema-released film (#3 below). In general, the setting is a haunted house that makes 112 Ocean Avenue (Amityville) seem about as scary as a Wendy house. [2]

Doctor Who: The Five Doctors (1983)

Doctor Who: The Five Doctors (1983)

Dir. Peter Moffatt | 90 minutes (Original Broadcast) / 101 minutes (Special Edition)

A decade after The Three Doctors (1972-73) serial the sci-fi franchise celebrated its 20th anniversary with a feature-length five Doctors TV Movie.

There are technically 'five' versions of the Doctor in the story, but only four play an active role. Actor Tom Baker (the Fourth Doctor) refused to take part and so footage from a previously unfinished serial (Shada) was used to pretend that he was there - the ruse fails, it's blatantly obvious that he wasn't. [1]

And in case there's anyone who's experiencing Doctor Who for the first time, the rubbish FX and amateur dramatics acting is the norm. In the correct frame of mind, it's actually part of the charm. But the rescue of Sarah Jane on the grassy knoll is a definite low point. If you listen carefully, you might even hear the scraping of a barrel in the distance.

The King of Texas (2002)

The King of Texas (2002)

Dir. Uli Edel

Inspired by Shakespeare's King Lear (c.1603-06) but transposed to the US State and set in the year 1842. It's not entirely faithful to the play, and the language is modernised, but it'll be instantly recognisable to anyone familiar with the text.

Patrick Stewart leads the cast as John Lear, a cattle baron with 200,000 acres of land, an ornery disposition, and three daughters. When he makes the decision to divide his substantial holdings between them, he discovers their true character.

The acting is decent, considering it's a TV Movie, but Patrick's British accent is never far from the surface, which is distracting, given that he's supposed to be pure Texan, so much so that in the early parts of the movie it felt more like he was Captain Picard LARPing on the holodeck - a feeling that was compounded by the appearance of Colm Meaney (Miles O'Brien) portraying the Duke of Albany. If you're not a Star Trek TNG fan, you might find it easier to adjust than I did.

Ocean Waves (1993)

Ocean Waves (1993)

aka I Can Hear the Sea

Dir. Tomomi Mochizuki

Originally, I considered writing something for each of the Studio Ghibli feature films and presenting them in chronological order, but I'm not a completist and I don't like all of the films, so I'm skipping the ones that I don't want to watch again. Of the selection that remains, the next is the lesser-known Ocean Waves.

Produced by Studio Ghibli but made-for-television, it's a story about youth and maturity, set in a competitive Japanese high school environment and in the wider world.

The three main characters are friends Tako and Yutaka and the girl who turns both their heads, a transfer student named Rikako. She's self-centred and takes advantage of Tako's good nature, but that doesn't stop him pursuing her.

Stargate: Continuum (2008)

Stargate: Continuum (2008)

Dir. Martin Wood

The Ark of Truth (2008) had a fairly pleasing final scene, the kind that draws a line under what came before while acknowledging the role of an unwritten future in franchise-land, so there was no real need for a second TV Movie. But one could argue that the villain of Continuum was a loose end from the TV series that needed tying up, I suppose. Whatever the case, Continuum is definitely not as good as the previous TV Movie. I've watched it twice and grew bored both times.

Among other things, it's a story of the Stargate itself, before it got transported to the US to become the central part of the Stargate program at SGC. Well, it's kind of that, but in a more science-fictiony way. It connects an event on the Tok'ra homeworld to a ship carrying a special cargo in the Atlantic Ocean in the year 1939.

It's good that it doesn't introduce a new 'one time only' big-bad, but what I enjoyed most was seeing some cast members from yesteryear alongside the regular ones. Fan-service it may be, but it's also complementary to the plot.

Stargate: The Ark of Truth (2008)

Stargate: The Ark of Truth (2008)

Dir. Robert C. Cooper

The weekly SG-1 series ended with Season 10, but the story of the Ori didn't - there was some ambiguity over whether or not the Tau'ri's plan to destroy the aggressors was entirely successful or not. TV Movie Ark of Truth remedies that. I don't know why it drops the SG-1 designation from the title, but it's SG-1 in every way.

There's an optional catch-up prelude (approx nine mins) to refresh the memory of anyone who may need it, but seeing as how I went from S10 to TAoT in less than 24 hours, I didn't watch it. 

The opening music turns much more dramatic as it leads into the opening scene, which was a nice touch, familiar but different at the same time.

After a short scene set many, many years before present day, we catch up with some members of the team as they hunt for the titular ark. The location is clearly a soundstage pretending to be an outdoor location, but it looks pretty.

The Beastmaster: Films (1982-96)

The Beastmaster (1982)

Dir. Don Coscarelli

Many of the elements that made a successful sword and sorcery movie in the 80s are in place, including a wicked high priest (Rip Torn) who uses magic and religion to keep a position of power, a banishment, a trio of scrying hags with a dangerous prophecy, a cool bladed weapon or two, a peaceful village burned to the ground, and a sympathetic hero on a quest for revenge / redemption, but The Beastmaster isn't the genre classic that as a youth I used to think it was.

It's still mostly entertaining, however, with a neat ingredient that separates it from the pack, namely the hero's ability to communicate with animals like some kind of barbarian Dolittle. Inevitably, he makes friends and allies as he journeys toward his ultimate goal, but the most memorable of them all are arguably the smallest ones.

The Incredible Hulk: Original Movie Collection (2018)

The Incredible Hulk:
Original Movie Collection (2018)

Dirs. Nicholas Corea / Bill Bixby | 3 Films, approx 272 mins (total)

The 2018 date given above refers to the three-disc DVD box-set released by Fabulous Films in that year, but the three films themselves are from much earlier (1988-90). They're set after The Incredible Hulk TV series (1977-82) that starred Bill Bixby and Lou Ferrigno as scientist David Banner and his alter-ego, respectively.

The Incredible Hulk Returns (1988)

Dir. Nicholas Corea

It's been two years since David Banner burst his shirt and trousers in a green rage. He's in a stable relationship and working on a gamma transponder that could potentially rid him of his alter ego forever, but a face from his past upsets the apple cart, and pesky reporter Jack McGee (Jack Colvin) is back on Banner's trail again.

RoboCop: Prime Directives (2001)

RoboCop: Prime Directives (2001)

4 episodes, approx 90 mins each.

A miniseries made up of four feature-length TV movies: 01. Dark Justice; 02. Meltdown; 03. Resurrection; 04. Crash and Burn. It's important to watch them in the correct order because there's continuity. It takes place ten years after the original Paul Verhoven film, which is referenced briefly. Had they been allowed to use it more, they surely would've.

Like the short lived TV Series (1995) it ignores the original film sequels, but goes even further by ignoring the TV Series as well. It's odd that it would do that, because it feels like a middle ground between the two. It's less violent than the original film but much more so than the kid-friendly series. So much so that I lost count of the number of dead cops that piled up in the streets.

Killdozer (1974)

Killdozer (1974)

Dir. Jerry London

On a remote beach near the coast of Africa six men clear a site in preparation for an airstrip build, but then cheapo FX = "funny looking rock" = Killdozer!

It's so damned stupid. The machine's top speed is, I don't know, about 12 kmph? A lame duck could outrun it, but still it manages to catch up to, and mow over, some manly men. It bides its time until the men are off guard. It then thunders trundles into the camp, belching black smoke as it goes, kills and retreats to hide in the grass. It's over twenty feet long, bright yellow and it hides in tall grass! Jebus!

Nevertheless, amazingly, it's not as bad as the name implies and I was genuinely entertained by it all. The characters are stock types, like a poor man's disaster movie, but the acting is better than a lot of the crap horror films that I've turned off in my time.

Star Trek: The Next Generation: TV Movies (1987-94)

Star Trek: TNG: The Complete TV Movies

Dirs. Various / 10 feature-length TV Movies / 835 mins (approx total)

I've covered the individual seasons of The Next Generation elsewhere on The 7th and Last blog, but in order to keep those posts at an acceptable length I didn't dwell too much on the two-parters; aka the TV 'movies'. This post indulges my desire to give them a little more attention.

There are ten in all, and because there's some TNG moments in Deep Space 9's pilot episode I'll add it, too. Naturally, given the number, it'll be longer than my usual post length.

K-9 and Company: A Girl's Best Friend (1981)

K-9 and Company:
A Girl's Best Friend (1981)

Dir. John Black | 50 mins approx.

The fourth Doctor's (Tom Baker) robotic pooch K9 (Mark III) got itself a pilot episode for an offshoot TV series that didn't get green-lit. It's similar to the parent show, but there are no aliens or reckless jaunts through time. That doesn't mean all is rosy and safe, however. Instead, it has a coven of Hecate worshippers that are planning something nefarious in the pastoral English countryside.

Despite not having her name in the title, the real star of the show is Elisabeth Sladen as the forthright, journalistic-minded Sarah Jane Smith.

The title implies that K-9 would've been constant, but would the 'company' have been changeable? Were more cameos planed for future episodes?

I don't know, but I know that it wasn't the final TV offshoot for either of the two main protagonists.

Doctor Who: Paul McGann (1996)

Doctor Who: Paul McGann (1996)

The Eighth Doctor | TV Movie, approx 89 mins.

Doctor Who: The Movie (1996) was a joint production between Britain and America that was intended to kick-start a US approved version of the long-running UK TV show.

It's set in San Francisco (but filmed in Canada) and stars Paul McGann in the lead role, dressed like he's just stepped off the set of a Victorian era George Pal movie. But besides the famous title music and iconic TARDIS exterior, he's the only aspect of the production that feels like it belongs.

The shift in style to a more 'serious drama' and a misguided pandering to the perceived target audience meant the show was stripped of almost everything that made the original TV venture interesting in the first place.

Doctor Who: Peter Cushing (1965-66)

Doctor Who: Peter Cushing (1965-66)

Non-canon Doctor | 2 films, approx 83 mins each.

01. Director Gordon Flemyng's Doctor Who and the Daleks (1965) is the first feature-length outing for the time-hopping Time Lord, Doctor Who. Except, he's not a Time Lord yet because his Gallifreyan origins had yet to be invented or explored in 1965.

Peter Cushing stars as the titular traveller, his version of which is a dithering grandpa-type that I suspect may have been a high-school physics teacher at one point in his life, because how else could he build an actual working time machine in his spare room?

The script is based on a seven-part TV serial by Terry Nation and starring First Doctor William Hartnell, simply titled The Daleks in home media releases. [1]

The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

The Poseidon Adventure (1972)

Dirs. Ronald Neame / Irwin Allen (uncredited)

Revellers on board the luxury cruise liner Poseidon enjoy their New Year's Eve party oblivious to the giant party-pooping wave that's thundering toward them... until it hits!

Produced by master of disaster flicks Irwin Allen, Poseidon is a thoroughly enjoyable but admittedly pretty awful journey from the bowels of hell to the light of day for a small and varied collection of individuals who realise that they must band together if they're to have any hope of escape.

With plenty of rationalising and moralising along the way the ensemble cast do their best with the material, and by the end we know exactly why each character was included and what basic emotion they were required to appeal to, a task that most of them do rather well, I'm happy to say.

I know that it's basically trash given the big screen treatment, but I love it. Ernest Borgnine, Gene Hackman, Shelley Winters and Roddy McDowall all together on a sinking ship? Hell, yes.

Dennis Potter's Visitors (1987)

Dennis Potter's Visitors (1987)

Dir. Piers Haggard

One of only two standalone TV Plays written by Potter for the BBC's Screen Two programme (see NOTE at bottom of page for additional info on Screen Two). Visitors was an adaptation by Potter of his own stage play, titled Sufficient Carbohydrate. There are reportedly a number of changes, such as the setting having been moved from an island of Greece to a place in Italy.

The story revolves around two couples, one of which has a son in his late teens. The couples are Jack and Elizabeth Barker (John Standing, Nicola Pagett) from Britain, and Eddie and Lucy Vosper (Michael Brandon, Glynis Barber) from the United States. It's the US couple who have a son, Clayton Vosper (Robert McNaughton). Eddie is Clayton's father, Lucy is his stepmother.