Timecop: TV series (1997-98)

Timecop: TV Series (1997-98)

Dirs. Various | 9 eps, approx 45 mins each.

A short-lived (i.e., quickly cancelled) TV Series based on director Peter Hyams' time-hopping sci-fi action movie Timecop (1994) - the one that's often cited by Jean-Claude Van Damme devotees as being one of his better efforts.

Personally, I thought he brought nothing of value to the role that many equally physical actors couldn't have did just as well, or better.

The story relied on clichés built atop clichés and the comic-booky plot frequently made little sense and/or contradicted its own established rules. In short, I thought it was shit. But the concept had some mileage, so a TV Series without JCVD was something I was willing to try. But first, a brief synopsis for anyone not familiar with the movie or the original Dark Horse comic book:

Babylon 5: To Dream in the City of Sorrows (1997)

To Dream in the City of Sorrows (1997)

Author: Kathryn M. Drennan | Page Count: 278

'Under his leadership, the Anla'shok were the most efficient and deadly fighting force the galaxy has ever seen. But Valen also recognized a danger in this. He knew that without an enemy to fight, such a group could become restless and dissatisfied...'

Excluding the novelizations of the TV Movies, City of Sorrows is the only Babylon 5 book that is one hundred percent part of the five year canon. It's fully sanctioned by creator J. Michael Straczynski and is penned by his then wife, Kathryn M. Drennan.

It's the story of what happened to Commander Jeffrey Sinclair after he left the station. It relies heavily on your knowledge of the TV series and as such is stuck between having to remain faithfully tied to it and trying to present something exciting and independently new.

The Earth Dies Screaming (1964)

The Earth Dies Screaming (1964)

Dir. Terence Fisher

Some sci-fi B-Movies from the 50s and 60s are like a subgenre unto themselves: one in which the title is the best thing about the entire production. The Earth Dies Screaming is a hell of good title — no doubt inspired by The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) — but it's overwhelmingly misleading because the Earth itself is fine. Its inhabitants, on the other hand, aren't fine, but there's very little 'screaming' involved, which I'm grateful for. In fact, the movie opens with a prolonged eerie silence, reminiscent of a John Wyndham story.

It's a bold move to have no dialogue for so long, considering the entire movie lasts only 62 minutes, but it works and is arguably as good as it gets. Everything that follows is paradoxically less interesting by comparison.

The characters are basic, recognisable types, but function well enough, either as vehicles for social commentary and/or internal conflicts.

Star Trek: The Official Motion Picture Adaptation (2010)

Star Trek: The Official MP Adaptation (2010)

Authors: Mike Johnson / Tim Jones (from a script by Robert Orci + Alex Kurtzman) | Illustrators: David Messina / Claudia Balboni | Page Count: 147

"Where I'm from, when someone hits you, you hit back. How is that not logical?"

A  tattooed Romulan group in an inexplicably heavily armed mining vessel attack a Federation starship. It's during that encounter that for the 2009 reboot of Star Trek a number of important plot threads are born.

It then skips some years and enters the 'establishing character' introduction phase of the story, showing how two of its main protagonists respond to differing situations according to their individual natures.

Both are rebellious and far removed from the men we know them to become in established TOS continuity; e.g., the youthful James Kirk steals, is rude, cocky, knowingly sexist, directionless and fights in bars.

He's an arrogant prick, basically, but he's presented that way for a reason, serving as both a contrast and exhibiting a foundational attitude that can be used to gain an advantage in future exploits.

Pumping Iron + Pumping Iron II (1977-85)

Pumping Iron (1977)

Dirs. George Butler + Robert Fiore

A documentary's success is appreciable when it not only pleases its target audience but also holds the attention of a viewer who ordinarily has zero interest in the topic onto which it turns its lens.

Such it is with me and body building, a sport / discipline that I care nothing for. But the spotlight cast on the lifestyle by film-makers George Butler and Robert Fiore makes fascinating viewing.

The egos, arrogance, and rivalries are there, but they're balanced by a huge amount of competitor encouragement and friendly advice. How much of it was chosen for that specific purpose is unknown.

What comes through the most is that an unshakeable belief in oneself is just as important to success as hours spent gurning at the gym.

2000 AD: Mike Carey (1999—)

2000 AD: Mike Carey (1999—)

Author: Mike Carey | Illustrator: Various | Credits (to date): 25 Progs

I've featured quite a lot of author Mike Carey's comic work over the years. It's mostly been his output under DC's successful Vertigo imprint. I bypassed his work for 2000 AD because the quality is variable, but I'm filling that gap now.

Besides a few Future Shock-esque anthology pieces, he co-created two original series for the magazine: Carver Hale and Thirteen, both of which received a standalone collected edition.

01. Before I get to those, his first published work in the magazine was a one-shot under the Pulp Sci-Fi banner, titled Eggs is Eggs in Prog 1145 (1999), with Cliff Robinson (artist), Chris Blythe (colourist), and Annie Parkhouse (letterer), later reprinted in a Judge Dredd Megazine supplement (#296, March 2010).

King Kong: The Toho Movies (1962–67)

King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962)

Dir. Ishirō Honda

I reviewed KKvG in my Godzilla: Shōwa Era Films (1954-74) post, but it was from a 'Godzilla movie' perspective, not a King Kong one. Logic says I should re-watch it from a Kong perspective, but I vowed never to suffer its woeful story ever again, so I've simply copy/pasted from the previous post, with some minor editing. I don't think my overall opinion would've changed much, anyhow.

The most positive thing that I can muster to say about KKvG is that it's the first King Kong movie to be shot in full widescreen and on colour stock. It's pretty terrible otherwise.

Fans who only want a monster bash will have to wait an hour before the two titans even meet, and when it happens it's laughable.

Doctor Who: Classic Era Davros (1975-88)

Doctor Who: Classic Era Davros (1975-88)

NOTE: there are SPOILERS for a number of Classic Era Dr Who stories below this paragraph. It would be advisable not to read any further if you're not okay with that.

The Doctor had encountered the Daleks more than once before, as far back as his first onscreen incarnation (William Hartnell), during the second multipart story of the first series (1963-64), but he didn't come face-to-face with their tyrannical creator Davros until the fourth serial of the twelfth season (1975).

The duo met four more times over the next thirteen years, and you'll find thoughts on each of those meetings in the text below the cut. Once again, SPOILERS are present.

The Art of Star Trek (1995)

The Art of Star Trek (1995)

Authors: Judith + Garfield Reeves-Stevens | Illustrators: Various | Page Count: 298

'If we define art as "the activity of creating beautiful things," then STAR TREK's futuristic, alien, often bizarre imagery most assuredly qualifies.'

I do sometimes 'state the obvious' for the benefit of folks that are curious but aren't a part of a particular franchise's fandom, but a book titled The Art of Star Trek explains itself. So if there's anyone still in any doubt as to what the content is, then you're probably reading the wrong blog.

What can't be gleaned from the cover alone is the sheer range of content inside, from rarely seen production sketches to familiar but still awesome key art, some of which has been used on posters and commercial home video formats for decades, and all presented on lavishly glossy paper stock.

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 (2002)

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4 (2002)

Genre: Sport  |  Players: 1-2  / Up to 8 online  |  Developer: Neversoft

If the shouty parts of the internet are to be believed, a majority of Tony Hawk game fans consider Tony Hawk's Underground (2003), aka THUG, to be the turning point for the franchise, the game where it went from strength to shambles. I differ in that I feel THPS 4 was that point because it was the title that changed the core structure upon which all else was built. THUG just took it to the next (lowest) level.

Gone are the quick 'arcade style' individual runs, replaced by a more open-world, free-skate environment called Career Mode in which tasks or goals have to be initiated by speaking to NPCs, and to do that you first have to find the damned NPCs in the now larger environments.

Making each area more expansive may sound good in theory, but in practice it means that there are less nearby objects to combo to and you have further to travel to find the next goal each time you complete one. You can choose goals from a list in the menu once you've discovered them, but why would you want to do that?

King Kong: The RKO Movies (1933)

King Kong (1933)

Dirs. Merian C. Cooper + Ernest B. Schoedsack

Given the film's revered status among film historians, and that it's considered an inspirational milestone in the evolution of special effects, it's not unreasonable for a modern viewer to expect to be wowed at every turn when viewing KK for the first time.

But it's worth keeping in mind that it was made in 1933 and much of the budget went on the aforementioned effects, so there's a lot of less than stellar moments in-between.

Having said that, when the gargantuan Kong does appear, which is about 47 mins into the 104 mins run time, it should be easy to see why it achieved what it did, doubly so if you feel, as I do, that stop motion animation has a sense of wonder and magic that CGI lacks.

Visionaries: Knights of the Magical Light (1987)

Visionaries: KotML (1987)

Dirs. Various | 13 episodes, approx 22 mins each

Like many 80s cartoons that were aimed at children the primary goal of Visionaries was to generate interest in a commercial toy line - in this instance the maker of the shelf plastic was toy giant Hasbro.

It wasn't a successful venture for the company. The cartoon lasted just one season (13 episodes) and the figures ceased production after just twelve months, while an equally short-lived bimonthly tie-in comic book published by Star Comics folded after just six issues. The only reason I know of its existence is because I had a couple of the figures as a kid and I bought the comic (when I could find it in stores).

The central gimmick of the toys was a holographic sticker positioned on each character's chest that looked half-cool and half-stupid; at least, it did to me back in the day. But I'm writing now about the cartoon, not the toys, so I'll not dwell on that.

Kamen Rider Black Sun (2022)

Kamen Rider Black Sun (2022)

Dir: Kazuya Shiraishi | Script: Izumi Takahashi | 10 episodes, approx 44 mins each.

Until viewing Black Sun, the most recent Kamen Rider series that I'd watched in its entirety was the fruit-themed Gaim (2013-14), so if there's been a natural progression in how the franchise does things in the intervening years, from a production standpoint, specifically, I'm not aware of it.

Timed to coincide with Rider's 50th anniversary, Black Sun feels different because it's aimed toward an adult audience. The bright 'toy line' colours that usually adorn a Rider's suit are absent, replaced with nondescript shades of black.

Besides the longer running time per episode, there's also scenes of drug use and an elevated level of violence, including immolation, decapitation, severed limbs, etc, some of which is even perpetrated by and against children.

Doctor Who: The Trial of a Time Lord (1986)

Doctor Who: The Trial of a Time Lord (1986)

Dirs. Various (see below) | 14 episodes, approx 25 mins each.

'The twenty-third season of British science fiction television series Doctor Who, known collectively as The Trial of a Time Lord, aired in weekly episodes from 6th September to 6th December 1986.

It contained four adventures: The Mysterious Planet, Mindwarp, Terror of the Vervoids, and The Ultimate Foe; the season also marked the final regular appearance of Colin Baker as the Sixth Doctor.'

The paragraph above is copied from Wikipedia, with just a few minor grammar changes on my part. The passage had much of the info that I was seeking, so it seemed pointless to write anything new. I'll add only that it marked the end of an eighteen month 'hiatus' for the show, so expectation levels among fans at the time was understandably high. Thoughts on the actual production are below the cut.

Animal Farm (1954)

Animal Farm (1954)

Dirs. John Halas + Joy Batchelor

Mr. Jones is abusive towards his animals, causing them to revolt and take over the running of Manor Farm. The animals agree that they must work together in order to prosper, but deep down not all of them believe in the 'Animalism' ideal. The political allegory, satire and hard-hitting subtext are easy to pick out, but they each keep their place, allowing Aristotle's ingredients for persuasion as evoked by some of the animals to really stand out when needed.

The animation and voices are excellent; the latter performed entirely by Maurice Denham. Also, the music by Mátyás Seiber does its job perfectly, upfront and powerful, and at times even becoming the primary narrative voice.

All in all, even if it was secretly part-funded by the CIA in the hopes of helping to promote their secret Cold War agenda — unbeknownst to the film's directors — the animated adaptation of George Orwell's novella still manages to do its source proud, for creatures great and small.

James Bond: Timothy Dalton (1987-89)

The Living Daylights (1987)

Dir. John Glen

In all probability this'll be the last James Bond movie post that I make, unless it comes down to the only Christopher Lee film I've not written about is the Bond one that he co-starred in. But that's damned unlikely, considering he's got 278 credits on IMDB and I'd sooner watch the 277 in which he doesn't have a supernumerary nipple.

I digress; I'm here to talk about Timothy Dalton. I mean no disrespect when I say that Dalton's Bond doesn't have the same level of sex appeal as Sean Connery's. Very few men do. On the plus side he doesn't have the same kind of 'charm' as Moore's. No, instead Dalton brings a moodiness to the role, and a sense of daring that the others had less of.

There's a feeling that he's worked hard to earn his 007 Licence, whereas for the others it came easy.

Superman: The Animated Series (1996-2000)

Superman: TAS (1996-2000)

Dirs. Various | 54 episodes (split over 3 seasons), approx 22 mins each [1]

Conceived and produced by many of the same creative team that made Batman: TAS (1992–95) so good, Superman's animated series looked familiar but also different.

Metropolis is much brighter than Gotham, with a different kind of art deco influence, one more inspired by Streamline Moderne. 

Giving each city its own visual identity is a positive change, but the less textured aesthetic of Metropolis looks unintentionally cheap and sparse by comparison.

Likewise, and the first indication that what you're watching might be a step down in quality, the opening credits, which are a montage of episode scenes in roughly chronological order, feel tawdry and lazy compared to the dramatic excellence of Batman's. Superman's are spoilery, too, for anyone who's not seen the series before. And subjectively speaking, Shirley Walker's accompanying theme music is also less memorable.

Dark Water (2005)

Dark Water (2005)

Dir. Walter Salles

Struggling mother Dahlia (Jennifer Connelly) moves into a dingy apartment in Roosevelt Island with her young daughter Cecilia (Ariel Gade). The building has seen better days, but the recurring dark splodge in one corner of the child's bedroom ceiling may point to something more malevolent than leaky pipes.

Dir. Walter Salles didn't make a lazy US by-the-numbers horror film, which was a pleasant surprise, and nor did he simply replicate Hideo Nakata's superior 2002 film version wholesale, but there's no passion in any of it, perhaps least of all in Connolly.

The Manhattan setting is a clever nod to the 'island' backdrop that's relevant to many Japanese works, and attempting to tether a meaningfully sombre tone to the original story's psychological one was interesting, but ultimately it's just boring. It's also devoid of scares, which I don't think was intentional.

Re\Visioned: Tomb Raider Animated Series (2007)

Re\Visioned: Tomb Raider Animated Series (2007)

10 episodes, approx 6 minutes each.

An anthology of short animated tales featuring the virtual bra-busting Brit, Lara Croft, from a number of different writers and animators. See the end of post for a full list of names. [1]

Each creator puts their own unique spin on the Lara character, which range from the wonderfully inventive (Keys to the Kingdom) to the piss-poor self-parody (Revenge of the Aztec Mummy).

None of them bother to waste time giving her any back-story or history. They assume that most viewers will already have knowledge of that from the games. The short format really doesn't allow for that kind of exposition, anyhow.

Brief (and biased) thoughts on each episode are below the cut, if you care to know more.

The Wicker Man: Novel (1978)

The Wicker Man (1978)

Authors: Robin Hardy and Anthony Shaffer | Page Count: 285

The phrase 'never judge a book by its movie' is generally applied one way, to defend a good book from the damage done to its reputation by a bad movie, but sometimes the opposite perspective is needed. Judging by how good The Wicker Man (1973) film is, I imagined the book to be at least equal in terms of impact, given that it's written by the film's director, Robin Hardy, and uses much of the dialogue from Anthony Shaffer's excellent screenplay verbatim. I've only myself to blame for that assumption not panning out as hoped.

The protagonist is Police Sergeant Neil Howie. On the surface he's an honest, steadfast Episcopalian Christian respectful of the laws of man and God.

Beneath that he's forceful and secretly judgemental of others. It's possible to view him as a haughty zealot who's quick to strike down those who challenge his beliefs, but that's only half the story. Deeper still, hidden from the world, he's inexperienced and fearful of his own desires.

The New Batman Adventures (1997-99)

The New Batman Adventures (1997-99)

Dirs. Various | 24 episodes, approx 22 mins each.

A direct continuation of Batman: The Animated Series set two years after TAS ended. It had many of the same cast and creative team behind the scenes, but it's visually different to what came before, with a different title and a distinct logo design.

It's been previously marketed both as a different show with two produced seasons of its own, and, perhaps erroneously, as a third season of TAS. Like many fans I subscribe to the belief that it is indeed its own thing, albeit one that continues TAS continuity. The many visual changes in the series seem to support that belief.

It features Batgirl (Tara Strong), Robin (Mathew Valencia), and Nightwing (Loren Lester) at various times throughout, with Batman (Kevin Conroy) being the only team member who appears in every episode, but the characters were redesigned to more closely match Superman TAS, due to how the two series were being screened on TV at the time.

The Ring: US Movies (2002—)

01. The Ring (2002)

Dir. Gore Verbinski

An English language remake of Dir. Hideo Nakata's Japanese language adaptation of Koji Suzuki's popular Ring novel (1991). It's good that horror fans who are unable to read or who simply don't like foreign films can experience the story, but, alas, they'll be getting a much weaker version of it, I feel.

I've known some people who've seen both and favour Verbinski's version, but I can't fathom why. It's not terrible, but it's pretty dull by comparison. That's mostly what Part 01 of this post will be, a comparison, not a standard review, so there'll be unreserved SPOILERS for BOTH versions. Please bear that in mind if you choose to read it.

The Drowned World (1962)

The Drowned World (1962)

Author: J.G. Ballard | Page Count: 175

'Free of vegetation, apart from a few drifting clumps of Sargasso weed, the streets and shops had been preserved almost intact, like a reflection in a lake that has somehow lost its original.'

Ballard's first novel, expanded from an earlier magazine novella, is rife with symbolism and connectedness. Set in the year 2145, it explores the reactions of a group of research scientists stationed at a lagoon that in the not-too-distant past was a human populated city, before massive global warming caused rising sea levels.

The environmental extreme is due to increased solar radiation, not, as is often the case in post-apocalyptic sci-fi, a consequence of something that mankind did, but the result is much the same, meaning once-habitable locations are now inhospitable to mankind and are instead home to a burgeoning animal population.

The environmental upheaval has had a peculiar effect on certain species of flora and fauna, causing some plants and reptiles to grow larger than normal.

Dead Boy Detectives: Vols 01 and 02 (2014-15)

DBD: Vol 01: Schoolboy Terrors (2014)

Author: Toby Litt | Illustrators: Mark Buckingham / Gary Erskine | Page Count: 160

'He always treats us like royalty, it's just... sometimes it's the red carpet... and sometimes it's the guillotine.'

Of all The Sandman secondary characters that could've been revived for an ongoing series, Dead Boy Detectives wasn't high on my list, but Toby Litt changed that.

The previous incarnation (2001) is acknowledged and respected, but Litt has taken a different approach to the storytelling. He doesn't reinvent what's already in existence - he rejuvenates it, making everything feel more vital and a lot more entertaining.

The two boys, Charles Rowland and Edwin Paine, were born decades apart but share a passion for solving mysteries. And where there's a mystery, it follows that there's often danger; doubly so if the occult is involved.

The Wicker Man: Music (1973/1998/2002)

The Wicker Man (1973/1998/2002)

Composed, arranged and recorded by Paul Giovanni and Magnet

The OST contains film score and songs written for the film, some of which are sung by the cast. That may sound like a bad idea, but if you've experienced the film, then you'll maybe agree they deserve inclusion. It was written in 1973, released in 1998 and re-released with superior sound in 2002 but with less tracks and minor changes elsewhere. Still, it's the better option if all you want are the songs in the best quality.

Musically it's dark and beautiful pagan folk that'll either lull or repulse you, but one word of warning: key tracks contain samples of spoiler dialogue, so it's best if you watch the film first.

Sadako (2019)

Sadako (2019)

Dir. Hideo Nakata

The Japanese Ring movies may be thematically similar but they aren't all part of the same in-world continuity. There's two separate lines, one that follows on from Hideo Nakata's Ring (1998), and one that follows from Jōji Iida's Rasen (1998). [1]

Naturally, Nakata's return to the franchise follows on from the one he established, which means it's advisable to have seen Ring and Ring 2 (1999) before seeing Sadako.

There's some parallels with the structure of the first film, although it won't be apparent for quite some time. But the story isn't memorable and the characters aren't very interesting. Its most accomplished scene is arguably a 'slow zoom with dialogue' moment that protagonist Mayu Akikawa (Elaiza Ikeda) shares with Masami Kurahashi (Hitomi Satô), the latter of whom is one of the few things that connects the work to Nakata's previous films.

Doctor Who: The Two Doctors (1985)

Doctor Who: The Two Doctors (1985)

Dir. Peter Moffatt | 3 episodes, approx 45 mins each

Given that the five previous Doctors had each met at least one former or subsequent version of themselves, it was a pretty safe bet that the Sixth Doctor (Colin Baker) would get a similar opportunity to do the same. In his case, he crossed paths with the Second Doctor (Patrick Troughton).

The Sixth Doctor has a larger part to play, which is natural seeing as how he was the lead in that particular era, but fans of the Second will be happy to see him included, although perhaps not entirely thrilled with how he's portrayed (see below).

On paper it sounds exciting: the current Doctor must rescue his past self from imminent death lest it causes his existence in the present to cease. It falls apart under analysis, but most time travel stories involving that kind of drama tend to do the same.

Ghost in the Shell: SAC_2045: Season Two (2022)

GitS: SAC_2045: Season Two (2022)

Dirs: Shinji Aramaki + Kenji Kamiyama | Eps: 12, approx 25 mins each

The good news is it's better than Season One. But that doesn't mean it's good. It's like the difference between shitting yourself while wearing shorts versus shitting yourself while wearing trousers with bicycle clips. Both stink and are best avoided.

The first episode is numbered 13, which makes sense because — even though Netflix pretend otherwise — it's clearly the second half of Season One, which they didn't bother to finish properly.

It has a new opening and new theme song that despite not being at all memorable is definitely an improvement over the last effort. (It's called Secret Ceremony, by millennium parade.) It's the kind of thing you might get if you asked a manufactured J-pop band to make a more edgy song for one of the superfluous Kingdom Hearts handheld games.

Batman: The Animated Series (1992–95)

Batman: The Animated Series (1992–95)

Dirs. Various | 85 Episodes (65 in S1 + 20 in S2), approx 22 mins each. [1]

Quintessential - that's what The Animated Series version of Batman is for me, outside of the printed page. Whether it be live action or animation, TAS is superior to every other onscreen interpretation of the iconic character that I've encountered thus far.

That same adjective applies to two of its most notable voice actors. Firstly, Kevin Conroy, who provides the voice of both billionaire Bruce Wayne and his pointy-eared and black-caped nighttime alter ego. [2]

The other, mentioned second but no less memorable than the first is Mark Hamill, who brings maniacal life to The Joker. I've not enjoyed Hamill's work outside of TAS, but as the clown prince of crime he's a master.

Chocky (1968)

Chocky (1968)

Author: John Wyndham | Page Count: 164

"An open mind is a difficult thing to keep."

My first experience of John Wyndham's fiction was the 1984 children's TV drama adaptation of his Chocky novel. Now, a great many years after that memorable encounter, I enjoyed it again in its original medium.

It's the story of an adopted eleven-year-old boy named Matthew Gore. Like many youths his age, Matthew has an active imagination. When his father overhears the boy holding what seems to him to be one side of a two-way conversation, he suspects it's that aspect in play. The truth, however, turns out to be much stranger.

The father, David, is the narrator of events. We learn about Matthew both through his personal observations and those of his wife, Mary, when the two compare their feelings and fears about the boy's changing behaviour.

Blackstar (1981)

Blackstar (1981)

13 episodes, approx 22 mins each.

It's well-known among the Masters of the Universe fanbase that some of the toy-line's action figures were repurposed assets from Mattel's own Big Jim franchise, but what's mentioned much less often is that Filmation's animated MotU TV series did some blatant borrowing of its own, from their short-lived Blackstar (1981) TV series, which came out two years before MotU and is in many respects a kind of precursor to the format that MotU settled on.

John Blackstar's origin is entirely different to He-Man's, and he doesn't have a secret dual identity, but the similarities in other areas are numerous and undoubtedly more than mere coincidence.

The show's opening credits provide backstory, which I'll transcribe below, for anyone who's interested:

The Wicker Man: Film (1973)

The Wicker Man (1973)

Dir. Robin Hardy

Police Sergeant Howie (Edward Woodward) travels alone to a remote Scottish island to investigate the disappearance of a young girl, but the local villagers hinder his efforts at every turn.

Undeterred, the single-minded officer digs deeper and discovers things that shock and offend him, both on a literal and spiritual level.

The Wicker Man has singing, dancing, and Christopher Lee in a wig and summer dress. I'm sincere when I say it's perhaps the most unique British film ever made (certainly that I've ever seen, at least) and is arguably both Christopher Lee's and Edward Woodward's finest moment. Both men had a CV filled with superb work, many times over, so it's high praise indeed.

It's been described as "The Citizen Kane of Horror Movies," and while that means absolutely nothing in real terms (I don’t even consider it a horror film) it's undeniably atypical and for that alone deserves to be applauded, even if you hate it.

Constantine: TV Series (2014-15)

Constantine: TV Series (2014-15)

Dirs. Various | Episodes: 13, approx 43 mins each.

A short-lived live action TV series based on the long-running Hellblazer comic book, but named after its main character, a spell-casting exorcist from Liverpool named John Constantine. It's more faithful to the source material than the 2005 US movie of the same name is, but does still do its own thing from time to time.

In addition to being an exorcist he's also a demonologist, an occult detective, and even a bit of a con-man, if the situation requires it.

On the surface he doesn't seem to be the kind of person it would be wise to put any trust in, but he's a humanitarian at heart. If someone is plagued by demons and they really don't deserve such attentions, he'll often go the extra mile to help them resolve the situation.

If he can smite a demon or two in the process, send them back to the hell that they crawled from, then that's all the better for John.

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 (2001)

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3 (2001)

Genre: Sport  |  Players: 1-2  / Up to 4 online (PS2 only)  |  Developer: Neversoft

I won't bore anyone reading this with the tragic tale of where my first PS2 console went, a reliable as hell OG Phat version, but some years ago I bought a Slim version from eBay primarily for one reason: to play THPS 3 again.

THPS 1 and 2 on the original PlayStation console were both fun games, but sometimes even the simplest action was more difficult to do than it ought to have been, and the frame rate was inconsistent on the larger levels.

On the surface THPS 3 on PS2 doesn't do much radically different from its predecessors, but to play it is to discover that Neversoft successfully honed the formula to near perfection - basically, everything except the tricky frame rate.

Doctor Who: The Five Doctors (1983)

Doctor Who: The Five Doctors (1983)

Dir. Peter Moffatt | 90 minutes (Original Broadcast) / 101 minutes (Special Edition)

A decade after The Three Doctors (1972-73) serial the sci-fi franchise celebrated its 20th anniversary with a feature-length five Doctors TV Movie.

There are technically 'five' versions of the Doctor in the story, but only four play an active role. Actor Tom Baker (the Fourth Doctor) refused to take part and so footage from a previously unfinished serial (Shada) was used to pretend that he was there - the ruse fails, it's blatantly obvious that he wasn't. [1]

And in case there's anyone who's experiencing Doctor Who for the first time, the rubbish FX and amateur dramatics acting is the norm. In the correct frame of mind, it's actually part of the charm. But the rescue of Sarah Jane on the grassy knoll is a definite low point. If you listen carefully, you might even hear the scraping of a barrel in the distance.

When Games Attack (2004–05)

When Games Attack

20 episodes, approx 25 mins each.

I was excited to see Dominick Diamond in another video games review show, because GamesMaster (1992-98) had been so good, but the excitement was short-lived. WGA was mostly bad. If it was a gaming peripheral, it'd be a Virtual Boy or a Nintendo Power Glove!

Dio: Holy Diver (1983)

Dio: Holy Diver (1983)

Dio's début album is a bona fide music masterpiece that I feel is fully deserving of its lauded status among fans - there's not a single weak track on it. It's one of my favourite records from the entire 80s metal scene.

A number of similar themes recurred time and again in Ronnie James Dio's oeuvre, both in his solo work and during his time with Black Sabbath. 

His imagery-filled lyrics, often reminiscent of a time of chivalry and myth, celebrated an era in which magic could initiate real change and provide a voice to the voiceless.

Sadako vs. Kayako (2016)

Sadako vs. Kayako (2016)

Dir. Kōji Shiraishi

A crossover of the Japanese Ring and Ju-On franchises that was teased as an April Fool's joke the year before it was released. I'm sure that I'm not alone in thinking it should've stayed a joke - although, while I'm on the subject of such things, does anyone actually like April Fools on the internet? It's fake news. Why is that a good thing?

SvK, however, turned out not to be fake, which is the most praise I can give it, having now seen it. It's getting its own post only because it doesn't fit canonically in any of the other Ring or Ju-On posts that I've made. It's its own thing with its own rules, so can be completely ignored if you choose to, even if you're a fan of the two things that it brings together. You can safely put FoMO to bed.

Doctor Who: Pyramids of Mars (1975)

Doctor Who: Pyramids of Mars (1975)

Dir. Paddy Russell | 4 episodes, approx 25 mins each

I mentioned that Pyramids of Mars was included as an extra on Series 04 of The Sarah Jane Adventures DVD + Blu-ray, which is a good enough reason for me to want to give a little more information on it.

Stargate is my favourite onscreen merger of sci-fi and Egyptian mythology, but it isn't the only Movie or TV Series to have connected the two things. Doctor Who did it almost two decades before. [1]

It's a Fourth Doctor (Tom Baker) adventure in which Sarah Jane (Elisabeth Sladen) has a fairly significant role. It's a good example of how much she brought to the series, both as a fully-rounded character in her own right and as a foil for the Doctor.

She isn't his gofer, written in just to do the boring stuff, but is very much there because she wants to be. They joke with each other on equal terms, and she's not afraid to let him know if he's being insensitive or callous when dealing with humans; he's an alien and has an alien perspective.

The Road to DUNE (2005)

The Road to DUNE (2006)

Authors: Brian Herbert / Kevin J Anderson / Frank Herbert | Page Count: 381

'These things I tell: the sequential nature of real history cannot be repeated precisely by prescience. We grasp incidents cut out of the chain. That is why I deny my own powers. Eternity moves. It inflicts itself upon me.'

A collection of DUNE related texts that's primarily another cash-in for two of the named authors but may be of legitimate interest to fans of Frank Herbert because it contains material that he wrote for DUNE (1965) and DUNE Messiah (1969) that weren't used, for various reasons; e.g., it was deemed unnecessary; cut for length; or got rewritten prior to final publication.

Unfortunately, that material makes up just a small portion of the book's content, with much of the remainder being bloat or newly written extended universe crap. In the order it appears in the book:

King Diamond: Abigail (2022)

King Diamond: Abigail (2022)

Author: Dan Watters | Illustrator: Damien Worm | Page Count: 120

'Perhaps it was the reduction of the world to simplistic concepts of good and evil that revolted me.'

A comic book adaptation of Danish artist King Diamond's 1987 concept album of the same name, about a couple who inherit a mansion with ghosts, wherein the influence of a stillborn child lingers, having outlived her flesh.

Sadly, there's nothing inside the covers to say how much input King actually had in its creation. Hopefully it was more than a simple nod of the head in agreement to the project being undertaken by someone else.

The credited author is Dan Watters, a British writer with various video game adaptations on his CV and the man who was chosen to helm the relaunch of DC/Vertigo's Lucifer series. All things considered, he did a fine job keeping it respectful while filling in the story's gaps.

Sadako 3D + Sadako 3D 2 (2012-13)

Sadako 3D (2012)

Dir. Tsutomu Hanabusa

A Ring Cycle movie revival based on author Koji Suzuki's novel, S (2012). I've not read it, so can't comment on how faithful the film is or isn't.

A new cursed video is uploaded to the internet, meaning every PC, laptop, tablet, phone, etc, offers a possible entry point for Sadako's return.

It sounds like a natural progression of what came before, but whereas Nakata's first two films were mature horror that made me soil myself, Sadako 3D is teen horror that made me yawn and check my watch periodically.

Silent Hill type creatures work just fine in a Silent Hill setting, but in Ring's world they were ridiculous. The only saving grace was Satomi Ishihara, who deserved to be in a better movie.

Doctor Who: The Three Doctors (1972-73)

Doctor Who: The Three Doctors (1972-73)

Dir. Lennie Mayne | 4 episodes, approx 25 mins each.

I don't plan to do all of the Classic Era Doctor Who serials — partly because I don't own them all, and partly because there's too damn many, even if I was lucky enough to have the full set — but I'll do some of the more notable ones, which should mean I can feature each of the seven actors at least once.

The Three Doctors, as the name implies, gets me three of them in one post. It's technically a Third Doctor (Jon Pertwee) serial celebrating DW's tenth anniversary, but it has the First (William Hartnell) and Second Doctor (Patrick Troughton), too.

First Broadcast in weekly intervals from 30th December 1972 to 20th January 1973, it was the first story in Pertwee's fourth season and is a significant serial for a number of reasons.

In addition to being the first televised adventure to feature multiple versions of the titular Time Lord, it was, sadly, Hartnell's last time playing the role - he died two years later, aged 67.

Spawn: Director's Cut (1997)

Spawn: Director's Cut (1997)

Dir. Mark A.Z. Dippé

Even after making the usual allowances in all but story for a B-Movie production, Spawn's live action introduction is still a bag of shit.

A voiceover and montage provide some groundwork for folks who didn't read the comic book before suffering the movie, but it feels more like a rushed afterthought, a quick fix for an overlooked necessity.

Many of the events in lead character Al's life are taken directly from the comics: he's an assassin for the US government; he has a partner but no children; he makes a Faustian deal without giving it much thought, etc. The pact with Hell means we needed the clown to be there, too, but he's an insufferable turd that further sullies every scene he's in.

Bad Influence! (1992-96)

Bad Influence! (1992-96)

4 Series | 57 episodes total, approx 20 minutes each.

Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital (2004)

Stephen King's Kingdom Hospital (2004)

aka Kingdom Hospital
Dir. Craig R. Baxley / 13 episodes, approx 40 mins each (01 and 13 are double length).

American horror author Stephen King took Danish film-maker Lars von Trier's eight episode miniseries, known originally as Riget (1994), and turned it into a thirteen episode English language series, relocated from Copenhagen to Lewiston, Maine (naturally).

There are probably many more changes, but I've not seen the original, so I can't say what they might be.

Von Trier shares an executive producer credit, suggesting he was agreeable to the adaptation, or at the very least happy to whore the concept out.

Peter Rickman (Jack Coleman), the person that we'd traditionally most readily identify as the main protagonist, is admitted to the titular hospital after a serious accident. An accident, incidentally, that mimics King's own hospitalisation almost verbatim; although I suspect the talking anteater is a fiction.

The King of Texas (2002)

The King of Texas (2002)

Dir. Uli Edel

Inspired by Shakespeare's King Lear (c.1603-06) but transposed to the US State and set in the year 1842. It's not entirely faithful to the play, and the language is modernised, but it'll be instantly recognisable to anyone familiar with the text.

Patrick Stewart leads the cast as John Lear, a cattle baron with 200,000 acres of land, an ornery disposition, and three daughters. When he makes the decision to divide his substantial holdings between them, he discovers their true character.

The acting is decent, considering it's a TV Movie, but Patrick's British accent is never far from the surface, which is distracting, given that he's supposed to be pure Texan, so much so that in the early parts of the movie it felt more like he was Captain Picard LARPing on the holodeck - a feeling that was compounded by the appearance of Colm Meaney (Miles O'Brien) portraying the Duke of Albany. If you're not a Star Trek TNG fan, you might find it easier to adjust than I did.

Planet of the Apes: Visionaries (2018)

Planet of the Apes: Visionaries (2018)

Author: Dana Gould (based on a screenplay by Rod Serling) | Illustrator: Chad Lewis | Page Count: 138

"It's a machine. The whole damn thing's a machine. Sophisticated and very ingenious... But always with the possibility of error."

A comic book based on Rod Serling's screenplay of the first Planet of the Apes movie, itself based on author Pierre Boulle's original La Planète des Singes (1963) novel, aka Monkey Planet. Serling's story was modified before being filmed, in part because it was a little too extravagant for the production team's budget, but much of what made it onscreen is present in the text, albeit occurring in a setting that's far removed from the pre-industrial one featured in the famous movie.

The main protagonist is US astronaut John Thomas, whose exploits take a similar path to that of Taylor in the movie, but his personality is very different.

What's most interesting about the book is the ape society, which is somewhat analogous to that of NY, circa 1950-60s. There are still social divisions between the three different ape types, but the hierarchy is less pronounced, so they work together a lot more closely than they did onscreen.