The Ring: US Movies (2002—)

01. The Ring (2002)

Dir. Gore Verbinski

An English language remake of Dir. Hideo Nakata's Japanese language adaptation of Koji Suzuki's popular Ring novel (1991). It's good that horror fans who are unable to read or who simply don't like foreign films can experience the story, but, alas, they'll be getting a much weaker version of it, I feel.

I've known some people who've seen both and favour Verbinski's version, but I can't fathom why. It's not terrible, but it's pretty dull by comparison. That's mostly what Part 01 of this post will be, a comparison, not a standard review, so there'll be unreserved SPOILERS for BOTH versions. Please bear that in mind if you choose to read it.

To his credit Verbinski tries to capture the slow-burning icy terror that Nakata's film has, but there's too many things going wrong onscreen for it to work. I won't list all of what I feel qualifies for that description, but I'll mention a few. Yes, I'll be criticising the film heavily, but only because I believe that it deserves it.

Firstly, the casting: actress Naomi Watts does her best as troubled mother Rachel Keller, but once the investigation gets underway the characterisation falls flat. It returns momentarily with a triumphant thump in a scene near the end, when someone refers to drawing pictures, giving the film one of its best new additions, incidentally, but its a case of too little too late.

Even when let down by the script, however, Naomi's still much better than Martin Henderson as the man that Rachel turns to for help, a role played wonderfully by Hiroyuki Sanada in Nakata's version. Henderson seems more suited to a TV sitcom than to a film like Ring. At no point in the running time did he convince me that he'd ever had any genuine feelings for the person whom he was supposed to be having reignited feelings for. Not even once.

I could go on for another half a dozen paragraphs but I'd rather just bullet the rest. But before that, a friendly reminder: SPOILERS for BOTH versions.

• Unlike Nakata's Japanese version, which was explicit in where and when the cursed VHS tape was made, the US version is unclear about whether or not the actual video cassette featured in the story is the first of its kind, or if it's simply the one that the teenagers at the cabin discovered. I don't care if the timecode explanation is movie-bullshit, but for story purposes it's important to know the origin of the tape.

• One of the most basic ingredients of a 'horror' is that it be scary, but with one exception — crazy running horse on boat — it gave me no chills whatsoever.

• The footage on the cursed VHS is like an MTV music video.

• The 'smart kid' transformation into 'creepy kid who knows about dead things' adds another layer of attempted but failed unease.

• The name Sadako has an abrupt syllabic tone, but Samara sounds like a perfume.

• At one point Rachel pulls a fly from a TV screen; while it's kind of cool in itself, it utterly ruins the shock of Samara's later arrival.

• There's an odd greenish tint to many scenes; was it bad encoding on the R2 DVD or is it meant to look like that? It was like being in The Matrix, except there it made sense.

• Ring's success opened the door for more shitty remakes of other Japanese horrors. 

And to end, a few positive comments: I liked the Rear Window (1954) scene, showing how ubiquitous TV is in modern society, and the little room in the barn was fantastic.

"Operator, I need an exit."

02. Rings (2005)

Dir. Jonathan Liebesman

A short (approx 17 mins) that fits in-between the first and second English language Ring movies. The opening scene of The Ring TwO (2005) references events in Rings but otherwise it's ignored, which is for the best.

It resembles a student film (albeit a very well-financed one), taking inspiration from a number of notable cult directors; e.g., there's a lot of Darren Aronofsky-esque editing but little of anything original on display.

The premise has a subculture of thrill-seeking youths who, having somehow got a hold of the cursed video tape, challenge each other to hold out as long as they can within the given one week time frame. It's standard 'I'm better than you' dick-waving in all but name.

When the victim has suffered enough of Samara's supernatural and psychological terrors, he or she must pass a newly-made copy of the footage onto someone else and thereby free themselves from Samara's curse. So far so stupid, but it gets worse. It shows that each participant in the 'game' experiences similar visions in the lead-up to their final day, which is not in-keeping with the lore that was established in the first film. The visions are documented, logged, turned into a web-page and online resource, etc.

If it's not already apparent, it's all very teen-horror bullshit and, like I mentioned previously, is ignored in the subsequent feature beyond a short scene at the beginning.

03. The Ring TwO (2005)

Dir. Hideo Nakata

Not a remake of either of the Japanese sequels, The Ring TwO uses Koji Suzuki's Ring novel as a basis for an original tale (originality in Hollywood?) that continues on from the first English language film.

The story is one of possession, as opposed to the revenge-fuelled haunting of before. It features two of the surviving cast members from the first film living in a new area, trying to forget their previous ordeal. But Samara hasn't forgotten them, unsurprisingly.

Interestingly, it's directed by Hideo Nakata, who was likely brought in as a marketing ploy, but it doesn't bring the leap in quality that the wallet-holders might've wanted.

Whether by accident or design, Nakata delivers a largely by-the-numbers experience that's no better than any half-decent US-born director could've achieved.

04. Rings (2017)

Dir. F. Javier Gutiérrez

The US movie industry can even make its horror movies feel like action movies; that isn't a compliment. The opening scene of Rings is an example of what I mean, and while it isn't fully representative of what follows, the rest has problems of its own.

Set two years after the 'exciting hook' of the opening scene, we're introduced to college-age couple Julia (Matilda Lutz) and Holt (Alex Roe), whom we're supposed to believe are deeply in love with each other, though at no point do they actually appear to be. It's a pairing of the heart that not even an eventual separation anxiety can give spark to.

Nevertheless, when one of the duo gets into trouble, the other is compelled to give aid.

The trouble is VHS related, which in the movie's timeline is an outdated media format that's found at an outdoor secondhand market.

The blank nothings share a few scenes with an equally badly-written biology professor (Johnny Galecki), and there's an absurd network of students that would be laughable if it wasn't so dammed ludicrous. None of the mentioned actors are in any way interesting. The only two characters that seemed like they might have some background worth exploring were a hotel owner and a blind man; incidentally, they were both the best actors and the eldest of the cast.

Its attempts at eliciting sympathy from the Y/A generation seem piss-weak to me, but I'm not of that age group, so may see things very differently to someone who is. (For the record, however, I feel that the Y/A genre has a great deal to offer all age groups, so it's not a blind bias in play.)

It has the same green tint to its dark scenes that made the first film feel so poorly lit, and when the attempts at creating atmosphere fail they resort to jump scares. I'm not exaggerating when I say that there was just one scene that I enjoyed - it involved a flat screen TV.

There's a large and fairly profitable market for shite horror sequels in the west, so there may be another Ring franchise movie someday. The rumoured Ring + Grudge crossover, perhaps? Or maybe another full reboot? Japan tried the crossover route already; it was utterly woeful.