Julia X (2011)

Julia X (2011)

Dir. P.J. Pettiette

What little I'd seen of the promotional material for Julia X seemed to imply a weak teen-slasher flick. From the blatant attempt to appeal to moviegoers who discern with their cock not their brain to the very premise itself, internet dating, summed up in the tagline ‘Sex, Blood, Revenge, and that's just their first date,’ I was turned off.

To make matters worse it was filmed for 3D, which usually means you can expect the first and last twenty minutes to contain things thrusting at the camera lens. Indeed, many of the angles are evidently chosen for that very purpose, they make no sense to the actual story, are visually uneven, existing solely to facilitate thrust.

Despite all of the negative vibes I was getting I watched it anyhow. Why? Because I really wanted the hear the music, which was provided by Japanese musician Akira Yamaoka, composer of the majority of the hugely successful Silent Hill video games. Yamaoka's uncanny ability to pair ambience with unsettling allusions speaks to me on a subliminal level. It gets deep under my skin. He's been known to team up with Mary Elizabeth McGlynn from time to time, on average two tracks per album, and it's the same here, two tracks have Mary Elizabeth performing vocals.

Films based on works by R. E. Howard (1985—)

Red Sonja (1985)

Dir. Richard Fleischer

The She-Devil with a Sword was created by Roy Thomas for Marvel's Conan comic series, but she was based on Red Sonya of Rogatino, a Howard-created character that appeared in a short story titled The Shadow of the Vulture (1934).

Arnold Schwarzenegger co-stars as a tactless barbarian that isn't Conan. My guess is there was some kind of licensing issues behind the scenes, because it's one hell of a missed opportunity, or it would be if the Red Sonja film was better.

The addition of an irritating child character means the sexualised female warrior role is curtailed, but the homophobia remains. Typical.

I can't remember the last time I saw so many polystyrene rocks collected together in one place.