15 September 2017

Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos (1986)

Chuck Norris: Karate Kommandos (1986)
5 episodes, approx 22 minutes each.

Chuck's cartoon counterpart is a United States government operative who moustaches his way through five chucklesome episodes with the help of his ethnic stereotype Karate Kommandos.

Chuck and his righteous team fight for freedom against the evil Claw, the leader of VULTURE and owner of a dangerous metallic fap hand. I've no idea what VULTURE stands for or if it's even an acronym.

The Claw has his own team of subordinates that he sends into battle against the Kommandos; among them is the awesomely named Super Ninja. Being a villain means he's doomed to never win, but with a name like that he's a winner every day of the week.

It's a good thing that the neckerchiefed hero has "nerves of steel and strength to match," because his recklessness gets him into all kinds of near-death scrapes. And it's because of him that his Kommando friends get into fights, too. Sort your shit out, Chuck. It's also rather worrying that he's a role model who teaches by example but allows a teenager with nunchucks on his team! The kid even gets kidnapped more than once. Sheesh.

I suspect the reason the adventures didn't go beyond five episodes is that a lot of 80s era kids didn't care about Chuck; to them he probably just looked like someone's dad. I believe that it's mostly due to nostalgia for bad 80s action movies that the actor has achieved the kind of semi-comedic internet fame that he now enjoys. If you're one of the people that do care, or that has the all-important nostalgia, then you might get a laugh or two from the short-lived series.

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