Assassin's Creed: The Ezio Trilogy (2009-11)

Assassin's Creed II (2009)  |  Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood (2010)  |  Assassin's Creed: Revelations (2011)

Assassin's Creed II (2009)

Genre: Action / Adventure  |  Players: 1  |  Developer: Ubisoft

I was disappointed we didn't get the historical Japanese setting that was hinted at in the previous game, but that was softened by Ass II outperforming its predecessor in every way.

I've played it twice and can confidently say that it's still my favourite of the entire series so far.

I don't have first-hand experience of any version other than the PS3, but as far as it goes it worked straight out of the box, without the need for patches or updates, and my games were glitch-free. The only reset I was forced to perform was when I got overly-happy with the smoke bombs while more than a dozen enemies pursued me simultaneously over quite a large distance. The PS3 RAM didn't like those kind of shenanigans. But that's what I get for pissing about - none of the mission objectives will ask that kind of silly activity from you.

Ezio Auditore's training in the past, sometime around the second half of fifteenth century Renaissance Italy, is a crucial element in Desmond's education and evolution as an assassin in the present. It's a small link between the two eras, but at least it's something. Bless them for trying. The story even has a go at addressing the reason everyone speaks fluent English, except when it's more dramatic for them to revert to their native Italian; it made me chuckle.

If you want to take the experience further there are a number of database entries in the menu that are filled with facts about the era and a large dollop of supposition about the people featured in the story. It's entirely optional, but it's a nice addition.

That's all well and good, but surely there are some down sides? Of course, there's a few. The frame rate isn't perfect, but that's likely the trade-off for the world being so open and needing a lengthy draw distance. Secondly, there's historian Shaun Hastings, an NPC that you're forced to interact with more than once in order to advance the story. Shaun looks like a git, sounds like a git and even behaves like a git; ergo, Shaun's a contemptible git.

NOTE: The missing/corrupt memories that you encounter are filled in via DLC. It's Ubisoft, after all, and that's how they roll. They claim the levels just weren't ready in time, but I don't believe that for a second. I suspect, like 99% of DLC, it was a simple way to get more of your cash. They didn't get mine. Don't give them yours, the eventual GOTY edition has it all in one place.

A direct sequel to the story, Ass Brotherhood (see below), was released in 2010 for PS3, Xbox 360, PC and Mac. Milk that titty, Ubisoft.

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood (2010)

Genre: Action / Adventure | Players: 1 / Multi | Developer: Ubisoft

Ezio is back and is more of a dick this time. The game struggles to continue his story; it even makes some of your hard work in the previous game redundant in an effort to add drama. Unfortunately, Ezio wasn't the reason I enjoyed Ass II, so the emotional attachment wasn't there for me. I really didn't care that his day had turned to shit. Screw him and his 'incognito' clothes.

It fixes none of the problems of previous games. It even adds new ones. It succumbs to the belief that if you can't make something better then you make it bigger. Bigger means more open space, which means pop-up is even more of an issue.

The towns are badly designed compared to previous games, with too many dangerous dead ends. You can now take your horse into them, but it's an activity that's nothing short of useless.

You still go 'invisible' by standing in a 'crowd' of four people, but can no longer easily hide in convenient bails of hay because the enemy will poke it with their swords. A swift poke with a sword will cause you to jump out and back into battle.

The voice acting is lifeless and stale; if you thought it was bad before and couldn't possibly get any worse, then you're in for an unpleasant surprise.

I understand why Ubisoft chose to temporarily forego the traditional numbering system (i.e. because it's not a new ancestor character), but the decision to extend the series in such a way that only serves to highlight flaws and cripple any hope of rescuing the Desmond story from the pit they wrote themselves into is a mystery to me. The ending is abysmal and unsatisfying.

But wait! It's not all bad. There's fun to be had. Most of mine was attained outside of the core missions. It includes a mini-management side mission that I really liked. The parkour elements are still the best I've ever seen in a 3D environment. Hunting for treasure and killing troubadours was enjoyable. Pretending I was playing Prince of Persia helped a lot.

Brotherhood introduced multiplayer to the series for the first time. I can't comment on it because I've not played it. I don't enjoy that kind of online shambles.

Assassin's Creed: Revelations (2011)

Genre: Action / Adventure | Players: 1 / Multi | Developer: Ubisoft

The fourth game in the series. The yearly updates are really beginning to impact on the quality; it feels hurried and is glitchier than ever.

There's nothing game-breaking but it's frustrating restarting missions because some fool got himself entrenched in a wall. My favourite was the beggar with the three-legged stool embedded in his chest. He followed me like a puppy. I tried to kill him with the hidden blade, but his mocking reluctance to even flinch while I repeatedly knifed the cad finally won out and I gave up.

It appears to bring an end to the stories of both Altaïr ibn La'Ahad (the protagonist from the first game) and Ezio Auditore (who still runs like he's smuggling a potato up his hole). Ezio's ending is the first decent one that the series had managed.

Of course they tack on a second ending with boring Desmond that proves once again they've been winging it from day one with that piece of shit storyline. Don't worry, Desmond, I'm sure your mom still loves you... publicly, at least.

Acquiring money is less of a hassle than before. I'd every shop and faction building renovated and discovered over 90% of the treasure after just the second chapter; the remainder was in an inaccessible zone. I was never out of cash and thus never unable to purchase the essentials when needed. It was a pleasant change from previous games.

Of the new additions, the zip-lines are the best. There's bomb crafting but you'll rarely need to make use of it. There's an unbelievably bad RTS section that's poorly designed. The less said about the horse and carriage missions the better. Instead of flags or feathers, you have fragments to collect that open Desmond Missions in a hub-world. A first-person perspective jumping and disappearing platform section has to be the worst idea conceived by anyone ever.

The city of Constantinople is my favourite of any of the games so far; it's beautifully realised and has less cul-de-sacs and pointless corners than previous cities. It was a real joy to navigate.

It's available for PS3, Xbox 360, and PC in too many editions. The Standard / Animus / Collector's / Special / Signature / Ultimate / Ottoman Edition all add some extra crap. The PS3 version comes with the first game free but they haven't tweaked it or fixed the frame rate.