Bruce Lee (1995)

Bruce Lee (1995)

Author: Mike Baron  |  Illustrator: Val Mayerik  |  Page Count: 144

Bruce meets opposition when he opens a Jeet Kune Do martial arts school in America. The muscle-bound antagonists display their prowess in a dick-waving contest that Bruce doesn't lower himself to meet, except when he can teach them a lesson by kicking their steroid-pumped ass with his lightning-fast fists. Afterwards things get serious with murders, shootouts and a ton of other stupid shit happening almost daily.

Eventually the lure of stardom calls to him, and so he must balance a hobnobbing actor's lifestyle with that of a martial arts teacher. But he'll do it because he's a god-dammed real life superhero. At least, that's what the book would like us to believe. At one point he even turns into his Enter the Dragon ninja self, complete with a rope, in his off-screen life! It's plain ridiculous.

The dialogue isn't much better most of the time. It tries to spice things up by dropping in some of Bruce's own philosophy at opportune moments, which was an admirable idea but makes him seem like even more of an arrogant douche than the people he's supposed to be teaching by example.

DUNE: The Music (1984)

Dune: Original Soundtrack Recording (1984)
Composed by TOTO

The soundtrack to Lynch's Dune is as patterned and layered as the film itself: mournful thoughtfulness gives way to epic hero themes that — ironically, considering the setting — have the essence of giant waves crashing on distant shores.

The most memorable motif is almost identical to part of Ronald Stein's The Haunted Palace (1963) score, but it works in both settings, so I'm able to forgive the 'coincidence'.

The individual Houses are well-represented through varied use of percussion and there's even a romantic theme or two, should you feel the need for a dreamy accompaniment to the overwhelming heroism. Track titles are super-spoilery, so if you've not seen the film that it was written for or read the Frank Herbert book the film was based upon, then approach the music with caution.

James Bond: Pierce Brosnan (1995-2002)

GoldenEye (1995)

Dir. Martin Campbell

A heads-up for any fans of the James Bond series: I'm not a devotee and will probably use parts of this post as a critique of everything that's wrong with the whole series, simply because the films themselves encapsulate everything - they aren't known for their diversity, after all.

My real interest in GoldenEye begins and ends with the locations, not with the actual Bond character. That might sound strange, but it’s all down to an enduring love of the N64 game of the same name (see HERE). Seeing onscreen the rooms and corridors that I know so well from the in-game experience is fun times.

When the film moved away from those areas, or to be more precise moved to areas that the game neglected to recreate, my attention waned.

X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes (1963)

X: The Man with the X-Ray Eyes (1963)

Dir. Roger Corman

What on paper probably seemed like it would be just another footnote on Roger Corman's CV was elevated to more memorable heights by the hiring of Ray Miland. Like a Hitchcockian lead he dominates the screen with a sense of obsessive and flawed nobility, pushing the narrative ever-deeper into the realm of avoidable consequence.

As Doctor James Xavier he discovers a serum that enables an individual to see through solid objects. The fun times had peering through ladies dresses and underwear are contrasted by a darker side to the ability that looms large on the horizon, one that ironically can't be seen until it's too late.

A genuine classic of the genre, X deserves its place in the sci-fi movie pantheon.

Dandelion Wine (1957)

Dandelion Wine (1957)

Author: Ray Bradbury  |  Page Count: 319

'He stood at the open window in the dark, took a deep breath and exhaled. The street lights, like candles on a black cake, went out. He exhaled again and again and the stars began to vanish.'

Like much of Bradbury’s output, Dandelion Wine is about childhood, the magical time, but it’s also about the fading of that time, making it a bitter-sweet experience. It captures the essence of what we all know and fear, that nostalgia for childhood can help you appreciate it more fully but can only be birthed posthumously.

It takes place over one summer in 1928, in the fictional Green Town, Illinois, a place Bradbury returns to in later books. In that year, in that summer, Douglas Spaulding and his younger brother Tom live life to the fullest. For Doug, every warm day will bring him something new - every day he'll collect experiences that'll become a part of him, helping shape how he sees the world.

TRON: Films (1982—)

TRON (1982)

Dir. Steven Lisberger

If you're aged twelve, TRON is the best thing ever. It was visually mind-blowing in the '80s and despite the advances in technology since it still holds that same power today. The creativity and steps taken behind the scenes to make it unique earn it maximum respect.

Wendy Carlos' music fits the aesthetic and adds to it with equal amounts of strangeness.

Realistically, though, the protagonists are given just enough characterisation to prevent them from slipping into two-dimensionality, and the plot is wafer-thin in the second half.

But none of that matters because every time I watch it a singular part of me is still aged twelve and still believes that journeying inside an '80s video game is the best thing ever.

Into The Labyrinth (1981-82)

Into The Labyrinth (1981-82)

Dir. Peter Graham Scott

21 episodes (07 Eps x 03 Series), approx 26 mins each.

Regrettably, I lost the torn out notepad page that I'd taken notes on while watching, so I'm going to have to work solely from memory as best I can. I feel bad about that because my memory is often unreliable and the show deserves a proper, detailed write up.

Three youths, Phil, Helen and Terry (in order pictured) shelter in a nearby cave when a freak storm breaks out. It's there that they find Rothgo, a formidable but weakened soul with the kind of powers we'd normally associate with sorcerers of bygone eras. Rothgo enlists the children's help to retrieve an ancient and powerful artefact.

To attain the Nidas, as it's known, the kids must venture into the Labyrinth, a gateway to other times. It's a perilous journey and like all good children's TV shows it has an antagonist that's truly memorable, but I'll get to her eventually.