Wheels of Fire (1985)

Wheels of Fire (1985)

Dir. Cirio H. Santiago.

If you're suddenly thinking of Manowar, then you have my utmost respect, but the movie predates the song by three years. Oh well; it was a pleasing thought while it lasted.

WoF is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland scenario. With no law to stop them, many people get their kicks being total dicks towards other people. But not Trace (Gary Watkins). Trace is a man of some honour who mostly looks out for his sister Arlie (Lynda Wiesmeier).

If Mad Max rip-offs have taught me anything of value, it's that post-apoc survival requires a pair of well-worn leather kecks and a part luck / part skill ability to drive on dusty roads.

The acting is as you'd expect for this kind of thing, but the car chases are excellent; if someone was to edit them into The Road Warrior (1981) and claim it's an extended cut, then many people could be fooled.

Jeff Wayne's Musical version of TWotW: TNG (2013)

Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of TWotW: The New Generation: Alive from the 02 (2013)

Dir. Nick Morris | London 02 Arena, ?? December, 2012

Didn't I review this already, just last month? Nope. That was the Richard Burton-head on a dangling egg version. This is the Liam Neeson semi-transparent '3D holo-gimmick' version.

As before, it's a live performance of Wayne's musical adaptation of H.G. Wells' The War of the Worlds novel featuring The Black Smoke Band and the ULLAdubULLA Strings orchestra, with a large cinema screen behind them onto which is projected a mix of pre-recorded footage and CGI animation. But there are a few differences:

The CGI is better; the towering tripod ship now shoots fire; and it was recast to appeal specifically to a 'younger audience'; that last part put my 'older audience' mind on the alert. [1]

'Wayne wouldn't extend that train of thought to the music, would he?' I pondered. 'For the love of all that stands on three legs, he wouldn't mess with a classic formula just for 'younger audience' recognition, right?' But he did. Damn, he did.

Godzilla (2014) Video Game [PS3 and PS4]

Godzilla (2014) Video Game

aka Godzilla VS [Japan PS4 Version]

Genre: Fighting / Action | Players: 1 (Offline) or 2 (Online PS4 only) | Developer: Natsume Atari

The opening cinematic of the game teases action, with monsters going head to head, military responses, dramatic camera angles, and, of course, destruction on a grand scale.

The tutorial that follows is presented in a wonderfully apt way, with a grainy B+W hue that's reminiscent of the first Godzilla movie - and with Akira Ifukube's iconic music playing throughout, the tone is set in suitably dramatic fashion. All in all, it reinforces the notion that getting to play as Godzilla is going to be as good as many G fans thought it would be. [1]

But when reality hits, after just a couple of levels, it hits with a kaijū-sized thump. You may even feel your hopes crumble like a tiny model city during a giant creature brawl. I sure did.

De Niro and De Palma: The Early Films (2018)

De Niro and De Palma: The Early Films (2018)

Dir. Brian De Palma (obviously).

When I plan to cover a sizable portion of a director's filmography, like I do with Brian De Palma, I prefer to start with the earliest one that I own and move forward chronologically. The pictured box set contains three such works. Each one also stars actor Robert De Niro.

01. Greetings (1968) is a satirical 'comedy' about three men trying to avoid getting drafted into the Vietnam War and is De Niro's first screen credit on a full-length feature film.

As a fan of the director's more dramatic works, from Sisters (1972) onwards, it was interesting to experience his developing working method and spot references to things that would evolve into career defining traits, but the film itself was a struggle for me to sit through.

The Pocket Book of Boosh (2009)

The Pocket Book of Boosh (2009)

Author: Various (inc. Noel Fielding & Julian Barratt) | Page Count: 304

"…prose so taught you can feel the veins."

If you liked The Mighty Boosh TV Series, then you'll probably like The Pocket Book of Boosh. Provided you like tie-in books and can read English text.

If you can't read, don't fret, there are pictures. It even has a comic book featuring Rudy and Spider.

The content is exactly the same as The Mighty Book of Boosh, which came first, and was bigger. This one came second, and is smaller.

I shit you not.

That's as complicated as it gets.

NOTE: You don't actually need to have pockets.

Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of TWotW: Alive on Stage (2006)

Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of TWotW: Alive on Stage (2006)

Dir. David Mallet | Filmed at Wembley Arena, 25th April, 2006.

A live stage production of Wayne's adaptation, featuring actors / performers, a full band, and a small orchestra conducted by Wayne himself.

It begins with a v/o by the Martians, all of whom are fluent in the English language. It'll be helpful to anyone not already familiar with the album or original story, but it's not something that I enjoyed, personally. For me, the true beginning is when the Richard Burton narration comes in:

"No one would have believed, in the last years of the 19th Century, that human affairs were being watched from the timeless worlds of space..."

Speaking of Burton, the production features a weird, disembodied projection of the actor's head, floating high above the 'stage right' side.

Spawn: The Movie - Comic Book Adaptation (1997)

Spawn: The Movie (1997)

Adaptation: Ted Adams (from an original story by Mark Dippé + Alan McElroy) | Artist: Carlos D'Anda | Page Count:48

"Each time you go out there, you come back a little more dead inside."

A comic book adaptation of the Spawn movie that in some ways is better than the shit that spawned it.

The first few pages tell of the ongoing battle between Heaven and Hell, and how a demon named Malebolgia requires a leader for his army on Earth, which is where our antihero Al Simmons comes in. A black ops killer for a shady organisation, Al develops something akin to a conscience and begins to lose control of his life.

At just 48 pages it moves stupid-fast, like a Marvel comic from the 90s, leaving a lot of potentially interesting stuff underdeveloped; e.g., the quote above foreshadows a deeply ironic quality that's barely touched upon, and we get no time to know Al before he's thrust into his second life, so the contrast is lost.

Terry and Wanda get even less characterisation. Wynn is a cookie cutter egomaniac, while Cagliostro, who seems to come from nowhere, functions as a standard 'exposition' guy.