Primal: From the Cradle to the Grave (1992)

Primal: From the Cradle to the Grave (1992)

Authors: Clive Barker / Daniel G. Chichester / Erik Saltzgaber

Illustrator: John Van Fleet | Page Count: 64

'Tiny bones are cast aside, sweet suck of marrow still within. Half-masticated gristle spit out to make way for new treats.'

Fortunately, I chose to read Primal on the strength of Clive Barker's involvement and didn't read the blurb on the back until after I'd finished the book in its entirety. I recommend the same approach to anyone who may be interested in reading it because the blurb is spoilery.

In case that sounds like a recommendation, I'll jump ahead and sum up my thoughts now: it was deeply disappointing and isn't something I plan to revisit.

Barker's influence is felt chiefly at the book's beginning, in its basic themes and initial mysteries, and in how it incorporates notions of sexual desire mixed with esoteric experimentation, exploring how a hungering lust for new  experiences can open doorways to darker realms.

Class (2016)

Class (2016)

Dirs: various | 1 Season (cancelled) | 8 episodes, approx 44 mins each.

A Doctor Who offshoot targeted at the Y/A demographic. Previously, we'd had a series for children and one for 'mature' viewers, which is The Sarah Jane Adventures (2008-12) and Torchwood (2006-11), respectively, so it probably made sense to then aim for that valuable middle gap.

I'm not of that age group, so may not be able to connect directly with contemporary concerns of folks that are, but it doesn't matter to me if a story is conceptually for children, teens, or adults - if the work is well-written and/or the characters are engaging, then I can watch and enjoy it.

Class tries hard, with both its relationships and its themes, but I don't feel it's strong enough to appeal to many people outside of the 16-18 y/o audience.

But maybe it was never meant to. Maybe its goals were modest, and it was simply meant to reflect the times in which it was made, without challenging expectations too much. I don't know.

The Unholy (1988)

The Unholy (1988)

Dir. Camilo Vila

A blind-buy for me that turned out to be a lot of supernatural fun. It stars Ben Cross as a Priest named Michael who gets appointed to a New Orleans parish that has been closed for a few years, for reasons that are shown in the movie's opening scene but which I won't spoil.

Inside the church is an evil presence that strives to influence the newcomer, but Father Michael is determined to resist. Yes, it's another tale of Good vs Evil, Heaven vs Hell, etc, happening on Earth, naturally, because that's where that kind of shit nearly always goes down. 

There's often a trade-off in 1980s supernatural movies — such as good FX but bad acting, or good direction ruined by bad editing — but The Unholy does well right across the board.

My Cousin Vinny (1992)

My Cousin Vinny (1992)

Dir. Jonathan Lynn

MCV isn't bursting at the seams with plot, but it makes up for that in spades by having heaps of charm and characters worth caring about.

It’s a comedy about two young New Yorkers (Ralph Macchio and Mitchell Whitfield) who get their asses deep in trouble while driving through Alabama and end up needing a lawyer.

They get Vinny (Joe Pesci). He's a legal fish out of water, but he's got something to prove, so he throws his heart and soul into the work.

The cast are all excellent. Pesci is his usual self and perfect for the role. Marisa Tomei provides great support and tremendous sparkle. And seeing the wonderful Fred Gwynne without bolts in his neck is also a rare treat.

Uncharted: Comicbook TPB (2012)

Uncharted: Comicbook TPB (2012)

Author: Joshua Williamson | Illustrator: Sergio Sandoval | Page Court: 144

"Hey, Sully! Things are going from bad to worse out here... it's time to roll."

A six-issue miniseries based on developer Naughty Dog's video game franchise of the same name.

I enjoy the parkour, puzzle solving, and exploration aspects of the games very much and am in awe of ND's attention to detail in their world-building, but it's not a franchise that I get overly enthused about beyond that.

For people that love it more than I do, besides a few grammar slip-ups the writing, artwork, and pacing are all good, with characterisation and dialogue that's tonally about as faithful to its video game inspiration as it's possible to get in a comicbook format. All in all, it's an excellent tie-in that feels very much like a proper Uncharted adventure - minus the interactivity, of course.

Wheels of Fire (1985)

Wheels of Fire (1985)

Dir. Cirio H. Santiago.

If you're suddenly thinking of Manowar, then you have my utmost respect, but the movie predates the song by three years. Oh well; it was a pleasing thought while it lasted.

WoF is set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland scenario. With no law to stop them, many people get their kicks being total dicks towards other people. But not Trace (Gary Watkins). Trace is a man of some honour who mostly looks out for his sister Arlie (Lynda Wiesmeier).

If Mad Max rip-offs have taught me anything of value, it's that post-apoc survival requires a pair of well-worn leather kecks and a part luck / part skill ability to drive on dusty roads.

The acting is as you'd expect for this kind of thing, but the car chases are excellent; if someone was to edit them into The Road Warrior (1981) and claim it's an extended cut, then many people could be fooled.

Jeff Wayne's Musical version of TWotW: TNG (2013)

Jeff Wayne's Musical Version of TWotW: The New Generation: Alive from the 02 (2013)

Dir. Nick Morris | London 02 Arena, ?? December, 2012

Didn't I review this already, just last month? Nope. That was the Richard Burton-head on a dangling egg version. This is the Liam Neeson semi-transparent '3D holo-gimmick' version.

As before, it's a live performance of Wayne's musical adaptation of H.G. Wells' The War of the Worlds novel featuring The Black Smoke Band and the ULLAdubULLA Strings orchestra, with a large cinema screen behind them onto which is projected a mix of pre-recorded footage and CGI animation. But there are a few differences:

The CGI is better; the towering tripod ship now shoots fire; and it was recast to appeal specifically to a 'younger audience'; that last part put my 'older audience' mind on the alert. [1]

'Wayne wouldn't extend that train of thought to the music, would he?' I pondered. 'For the love of all that stands on three legs, he wouldn't mess with a classic formula just for 'younger audience' recognition, right?' But he did. Damn, he did.