The Cat Returns (2002)

The Cat Returns (2002)

Dir. Hiroyuki Morita

TCR is a spin-off from Ghibli's Whisper of the Heart (1995) film, and while it's not wholly necessary to have watched WotH prior to TCR, it's recommended, nevertheless, because two of TCR's characters were first introduced in WotH. The earlier film is also where you get the back-story of smartly dressed cat Baron Humbert von Gikkingen. If you don't care about any of that, though, you can enjoy TCR on its own merits.

It's the story of high-school student Haru Yoshioka, a young girl who seems to be constantly running late for class. She's often disorganised, has a messy room, and is a little clumsy. But she has a kind heart, is a good friend, and looks out for animals in need, all of which are positive, inspirational traits.

A selfless act at a busy road earns her the gratitude of the Cat Kingdom, which turns out not to be as welcome a blessing as it may sound.

The Dark Tower: Book I: The Gunslinger (1982)

The Dark Tower: Book I: The Gunslinger (1982)

Author: Stephen King | Page Count: 212

'No one ever really pays for it in silver, he thought. The price of any evil – necessary or otherwise – comes due in flesh.'

Book I is our introduction to Roland Deschain, aka Roland of Gilead, the titular gunslinger and a man obsessed with reaching the Dark Tower. That goal carries him across Mid-World, the land of his birth.

Mid-World is a familiar amalgamation of our own recorded history and a romanticised version of the same. It's the type of fictional reality that fans of King's other works will feel right at home in.

King is best known for horror works, but Dark Tower is fantasy merged with the old-fashioned western. It's still populated with the kind of well-defined characters that the author is good at. Love him or loathe him, you can't deny his strengths.

The Wraith (1986)

The Wraith (1986)

Dir. Mike Marvin

The Wraith is 80s to its core, from the hairstyles to the music. It stars Charlie Sheen as a dirt bike riding new-guy-in-town who gets targeted by a group of racing thugs, the leader of which (Nick Cassavetes) has an unrequited hard-on for the same girl (Sherilyn Fenn) as Sheen's character.

Helmeted S+M guy is a mysterious spirit with a flash car and a score to settle against the gang previously mentioned, and not just because the leader is a sleazebag who chews gum with his mouth open and only keeps 'friends' out of fear.

The plot is pretty dumb, but its bizarre mix of drama, fantasy, and not-quite-sci-fi has just enough interesting ideas to keep this fan of the era happy. Racing scenes are good and Randy Quaid is memorable as a no-bullshit sheriff.

Masters of the Universe: He-Man: Defender of Grayskull (2005)

MotU: He-Man: Defender of Grayskull (2005)

Genre: Action / Adventure  |  Players: 1  |  Developer: Savage Entertainment

Your objective in Defender of Grayskull, if I'm not mistaken, is to advance through poorly designed and repetitive levels battling bland enemies, employing badly animated sword strikes to end their miserable existence. You can use a roll manoeuvre during combat in an attempt to add variety, but it's not necessary and you'll soon probably grow tired of even that once you discover that that it's quicker to simply lock onto them with L2 (if you're lucky) and hack and slash until they become a crumpled heap.

He-Man's burly physique is referenced often, in the piss-poor animation and in having his every step be accompanied by monotonous heavy footfalls that hammer the player's brain with each laboured step. He can also jump, which enables the awful platform sections to be properly cocked-up. At such times, collision detection in hinted at but largely absent.